AGING….is when your brain says,….. “We ride at dawn”…..and your body replies,…. “We absolutely do not”
MEN MADE….pregnancy a women’s problem…..parenting a women’s job…..birth control a woman’s burden…..and abortion a woman’s crime…..and then you ask…..why are women so angry?
I’M GOING….to be a problem today….I can feel it
TACT….is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way….that they look forward to the trip
I LOVE WHEN I SAY…. “I’ll just rest my eyes for a second”….and wake up 3 hours later and confused….and in a different dimension
WHEN YOU SAY…..you don’t drink….everyone tries to give you a drink….when you say you don’t eat meat….everyone tried to feed you meat….but if you say you don’t have any money….nobody tries to give it to you
AND TONIGHT’S WINNER….for surviving today’s world madness is….the Voyager probe….which is speeding away from Earth at 38,000 miles per hour
SOMETIMES….the thoughts in my head get so bored….they go out for a stroll through my mouth…..it’s rarely a good thing
INSTEAD OF GOVERNMENTS….creating digital ID’s to track citizens….maybe citizens should have digital ID’s for politicians….track who they meet….track who lobbies them….track where our tax dollars go…..they work for us….not the other way around
THERE IS A…..Japanese legend that says….if you missed the bus maybe you avoided the accident…..if you got rejected maybe you were saved from the wrong place….if they left, maybe they made room for who is coming…..the universe protects you in ways that look like bad luck at first….trust the detour.
CAN WE JUST STEP BACK….and realize how messed up it is…..to put your name on someone’s memorial in the first place?
IT’S NOT….Black vs White….it’s…..Black vs Racism….don’t confuse the two
WORK….is a means to an end….not the purpose of your life
DON’T WAIT….until you realize….you should have spent more money on experiences….and less on things
BE A GOOD…..person in real life….I promise you….none of this social media shit matters
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS….say yes to a quick 30-minute drink with your girlfriends….that half hour…..could be the best 6 hours of your life
I LOVE….when toddlers passionately talk to me about absolutely nothing
DID YOU KNOW….that you use 17 muscles when….you open a bottle of wine?…..fitness is my passion
PRISON….is the only form of public housing the U.S. government truly invested in…..over the past five decades
GRANDMA PROTEST SIGN:….. “You should be glad we just want equality….and not revenge
PLEASE….get to the point because my ability to look like I’m paying attention is starting to wear off
A MAN….who tolerates disrespect, teaches the world how to treat him…..a people who accept injustice train their oppressor to continue…..self-respect is the first line of defense (Malcolm X)
EVE: The trouble didn’t start after I ate the apple….it was after I ate the mushrooms….that’s when the snake started talking
AND MY FAVORITE…..
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