SON: I’m confused when it comes to schooling
DAUGHTER: Says a 6-year-old
MOM: Play nice….what is confusing you my wonderful offspring?
SON: Well, if one teacher can’t teach all subjects…..then why does a student have to learn every subject?
DAD: Now I’m confused
DAUGHTER: Yeah….that makes three of us
TEACHER: Why do humans have different blood groups?
DAUGHTER: So, the mosquitoes can enjoy different flavors
TEACHER: GET OUT!
MOM: Again?….really?
DAUGHTER: Well, he started it and you should be glad you’re not bailing me out of the joint….so, that genetic misprint called you again…..what did that bloated….
MOM: Language….she said it started when the lesson turned to equal rights in the class…..or something like that deviating from what one may consider a norm?
DAD (to son): Oh, this is going to be good
DAUGHTER: That….
MOM: Language….
DAUGHTER: I was going to use a Kamala Harris debate pause…
MOM: Continue…..
DAUGHTER: He…..had the nerve to say…. “We men all know if women don’t lower their standards….they will wind up being alone
SON (to Dad): Oh shit
DAD: Language….a little bit older than a toddler person
MOM: And please share with this audience what your response was?
DAUGHTER: I said…. “You’re right, we will be alone…..in peaceful apartments….watching what we want….drinking wine….relaxing….with clean kitchens….with good friends…..and with financial stability….and not wasting time having arguments with someone….like your dumbass….you stupid son of…..”
MOM: Language…..touché my dear….touché
DAD (to Son)….You better up your game
SON: I’m 6-years-old
DAD: That was a preview of what may come….those two right there….watch and learn.
DAD: (Daughter walks in): Yeah, I got the call this time
DAUGHTER: Well, she started it
DAD: Whom may I ask?
DAUGHTER: That never ever should be cloned blonde Chrissy person….she said something and I reiterated in front her posterior kissing friends
SON: Nice move…..instead of using the donkey’s cousin as a noun
MOM (to son). Hush, this is gonna be good
DAD: And she uttered what pray tell?
DAUGHTER: That….
(Everybody): LANGUAGE!
DAUGHTER: Said to me this morning…. “Oh, you’re putting on weight girl”….I looked at her like….girl?….so I smiled and let her know…. “Well girl,…..I’m just trying to catch up with you”…..and somehow that…..
(Everybody): LANGUAGE!
DAUGHTER: For something I didn’t start…..I was the one called into a meeting and had to speak to that…..
(EVERYBODY): LANGUAGE!
BIBLE SISTER: Now you do know I’m a Christian right?
SON: And that’s her intro?
MOM: Hush…
DAUGHTER: More than you know Auntie
BIBLE SISTER: And you do know in the Bible, it tells us…..to love one another, right?
DAUGHTER: I sure do…..I read this particular piece of fiction when I was twelve and others…..Quran…..even found a copy of the Ethiopian Bible….believe it or not….I could name others but we’re heading to a point right?
SON: Check
(Mom and Dad): Hush…..
BIBLE SISTER: And I trust you truly understand and feel the words in the one true book….the Bible…..and how those words have guided us through life….even in troubled times…..and we believe those words to be true…..words guiding humanity to a peaceful unity?
DAD (to mom): I do not like where this is going
MOM: Just wait….this should be good
DAUGHTER: Well, the thing is this ….there is another true book people believe in….it’s called the Karma Sutra….and it is also a bit more specific….and throughout civilization…..it has caused ZERO wars
SON: Oh shit!
DAD: Language…..(to mom)…..yep, she’s definitely your kid
MOM: You want to tell me what happened….. “RIGHT NOW?!??
DAD: You wanna….
MOM: Not now honey…..what happened?
SON: I hate racism
MOM: Ok…?
SON: I overheard a teacher say…. “If I could find a country that didn’t take immigrants in….I’d move there
DAD: Wait, what?
MOM: Not now honey….and?
SON: So, I walked back towards the teacher, stood in front of him, while other so-called educated idiots stood around and said…. “That would make you the immigrant you fucking dumbass”
DAD: Excuse me?
MOM: Not now honey….so, what did this teacher say?
SON: He wants to see one of you tomorrow morning
MOM (looks at dad): I got this
MY NEW NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS……BUBBA…..Basement apt….2B…..
(Homeless man approaches Bubba sitting in his car): Excuse me sir, could I get 57 cents to get me something to eat?
BUBBA: Get in
HOMELESS MAN: Where we goin’?
BUBBA: If you know where to get something to eat for 57 cents….I’m coming with you