I was at the checkout at Walmart, minding my own business……when the cashier rang up my total: $46.64……I handed her a crisp $50 bill…..she looked me dead in the eye……gave me back $46.64…….and continued scanning items like a professional.
Me: “Uh… I think there’s a mistake.”
Her: huffing dramatically “Sir, I am educated, I know what I’m doing.”
She pushed the money back at me like I was trying to scam her…..so, I did what any reasonable person would do……I gave it back……she, once again, pushed it right back at me with extra attitude…….I shrugged, picked up my bags, and walked out with $46.64 in my pocket.
THEY WALK AMONG US!
I walked into Starbucks with a “Buy-One-Get-One-Free” coupon for a Grande Latte…..the barista studied it like it was the Declaration of Independence……then turned to a chalkboard that read “Buy One, Get One Free.”……her eyes lit up. “Oh! So that means… they’re both free!”….she happily handed me two free lattes……I didn’t argue. I just walked out, sipping my victory.
THEY WALK AMONG US!
One day, I was strolling along the beach with some friends when one of them gasped dramatically……pointed ahead and yelled: “Look! A dead bird!”….another friend immediately looked up at the sky and asked, “Where?”……I just… I had no words.
THEY WALK AMONG US!
My brother was house hunting and asked the real estate agent which direction was north…..he explained that he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning…..the agent furrowed her brow……”Wait… does the sun rise in the north?”….my brother, thinking she was joking, laughed…..she was not joking…..he gently explained that the sun rises in the east… and, you know, has been doing that for quite a while now…..she shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff.”…..I had to walk away.
THEY WALK AMONG US!
Back when I worked in a 24/7 call center, a guy called and asked: “What hours are you open?”
Me: “Sir, we’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”
Him: “Okay, but is that Eastern or Pacific time?”……I stared at my screen for a solid 10 seconds before replying….
“Uh… Pacific.”……he thanked me and hung up…..probably feeling proud of himself.
THEY WALK AMONG US!
My friends and I went to buy beer for a party…..the store had a 10% discount on cases….since we were professionals…..we grabbed two cases……the cashier did some quick mental math…..
“Oh, two cases?….that’s 10% + 10%… so you get 20% off!”…..we all nodded and quietly accepted our new financial advisor.
THEY WALK AMONG US!
While working at a pizza place…..I watched a man order a small pizza to-go…..
Cook: “Would you like that cut into four or six slices?”…..the man thought long and hard before replying…..
“Better make it four. I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat six.”…..bless their hearts.
AND OFF TO THE WORLD OF THE STUPID…..
A woman won a legal court case by using ChatGPT
A daughter stabbed her father over a clogged toilet
A landlord blew a kiss at his tenant, so the tenant threw him off his roof
A serial butt sniffer was arrested for the third time
A man opened fire inside a crowded metro Atlanta restaurant….and the customers shot back
Irish police received a call about a lion….it was actually a dog named Mouse
A man was arrested for training his dog to drop bricks on people ringing his doorbell
Atlanta, Georgia teens were shot during an alleged porch package theft