CUZ: I met a really hot girl who was half Japanese and half Pilipino…..I think I ruined it by constantly calling her…..a jalepeno

BRO: It’s Filipino…..and you’re an idiot

CUZ: Why are there no night museums?

BRO: Because there are three movies……explaining what happens at night in museums

CUZ: You despise me…..don’t you?

BRO: If I ever gave you any thought….I might

CUZ: Wow….I just saw a photo of Mike Tyson standing in front of the Sphinx

BRO: I’d pay money….to hear that man pronounce “Sphinx”

CUZ: Did I tell you there is a boxing gym near our place and I’m going to join?

BRO: You did…..and I wanna watch you box

CUZ: After I build up some stamina?

BRO: Mostly,….I just wanna watch someone punch you in the face

CUZ: I was going to make a reservation at the library….

BRO: Don’t say it….

CUZ: But they were completely booked

CUZ: They need to take down those 5G towers

BRO: Ah….why?

CUZ: Because they’re military weapons

BRO: Those 5G towers will help you…..download your conspiracy videos faster

CUZ: I think I’m going to stay single

BRO: Like you have a choice

CUZ: Peas and mayonnaise pizza?…..yes please!

BRO: Pineapple and non-pineapple eaters…..you have to put aside your differences…..because you have a common enemy now

CUZ: Bull-crap….that is not a German brand

BRO: What?….BMW is a German-owned company

CUZ: Nope…..it’s European

CUZ: We should start the world’s most worthless band

BRO: Nickelback is already taken

CUZ: I think I want her back dude

BRO: Did she cut her hair when you broke up?

CUZ: Yeah?

BRO: You’re out of luck…..she doesn’t want you back

CUZ: We should just pin all the debt in the world….on one guy and then kill him

BRO: I think you just invented Christianity

BRO: Do you know who Michelangelo is?

CUZ: Naw…..

BRO: He painted a beautiful picture in the Sistine Chapel

CUZ: Well, what did he paint in the other fifteen?

CUZ: Tell me something

BRO: Ummm….snails can sleep for three years straight without needing food

CUZ: Really?…..that’s all you got?

CUZ: You’re a freakin’ psychopath

BRO: At least I’m on a path

CUZ: (Road trip)….Welcome to misery

BRO: Ah, that’s Missouri

CUZ: Same thing