….Your car is German…your Vodka is Russian…your pizza is Italian…your kebab is Turkish…your democracy is Greek…your coffee is Brazilian…your movies are American…your tea is Tamil…your shirt is Indian…your oil is Saudi Arabian…your electronics are Chinese…your numbers are Arabic…your letters Latin and you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant? Pull yourself together!
GIRLS SELL TOYS TO HELP MOM KEEP HOUSE: SISTERS, 7 AND 9 FOUND WANDERING THE STREETS, MOM ARRESTED…They were found wandering the streets…with a stroller filled with toys….and were asking strangers to please buy them….so we can help my mom keep our house…they were even going door to door….the police received a tip when someone saw them out and about around 10:30 am….when their school bus should’ve picked them up around 7:20 am….they couldn’t remember their address….which was about a half a mile down the road….when the police knocked on their door….mom was in the bed asleep…her response to the police…“Well, they should know better…it’s their job to wake me up in the morning to get ready for school.”
BILLS GATES FOUNDATION ANNOUNCES POPULATION CONTROL MICROCHIP….Whoa…..excuse me!….did you know Billy became one of the most infamous depopulation activists, lecturing on genocidal vaccines, conducting vaccination campaigns that crippled and killed countless people in Third World countries, designing GMO mosquitoes that could carry and inject deadly viruses, and he’s still constantly finding new methods of achieving this plan….and now he announced the development of a remote-controlled contraceptive microchip….which can be planted under the skin and last up to 16 years…it will release a daily dose of levonorgestral, which is a hormone used to prevent pregnancy.
PROTEST SIGN AT A GAY RIGHTS RALLY:… “Jesus hung out with 12 guys and a prostitute. He was more like me than like you.”
WOMAN ARRESTED FOR BEATING HERSELF UP….So you’re telling me…I can’t kick my own ass?…ok, she’s a nutter….I assume she had nothing else to do…so she decided to beat herself…..upside her head with a crowbar….yep….and when the police officers talked her into dropping the crow thing….she started head-banging the wall..…ok plain to see that her dozen was missing an egg….but I can’t beat myself up without getting arrested?….who pressed charges?
AND OFF TO THE WORLD OF THE STUPID…. Man who stabbed prostitute with scissors because he couldn’t get aroused convicted by his vomit left at the scene
Troopers say they corralled drunk lawn mower driver with a rope
Florida man gets angry, head-butts bus, gets knockedout
Man asked girlfriend for lighter, gets stabbed instead
Man has fathered 10 babies with 9 women….thanks to Facebook
Someone built a Meth lab inside a federal research facility and it exploded
Chinese doctors to disgruntled patients: “Please stop stabbing us”
Alaska zoo temporarily closes after wild black bear wanders in
Armadillos are giving people Leprosy in Florida
Controversy at Lakeville crawl-a-thon as tot is disqualified for scooting
Man attempts to rob 7-11 with finger gun
Man allegedly breaks into home, hides under the bed for 3 day while charging his cellphone
Pooping cyclist started foothills fire
North Carolina thinks it’s a good idea to let people with revoked licenses drive to attend religious services
Couples are getting married at cemeteries and funeral homes
Mailman caught on camera breaking into a home and trying on a woman’s boots
Unruly Russian airline passenger was punched, kicked and hogtied by fellow passengers
“PUSHY” PARENTS SEND MOST DEMANDING 1st BIRTHDAY INVITE EVER…The nerve of some people…the mother “DEMANDED” a number of gifts for the guest to bring to the party….this…..I’ll say woman because my mom might read this…asked them to bring…a water table, a play tunnel and books for her 1-year-old…and the witch (close enough huh?)….sent a separate list to her mother…and sister-in-law..to avoid duplication…she also added; “If you choose to get something that isn’t on the list, anytime regardless of birthdays or holidays, please be sure to always include a receipt going forward. When we return items without receipts, we only get about 50% of the value, so it’s like throwing away money if you don’t include a receipt with the gifts.”…and to top off this crazy woman’s list…she said she also warns against any personalized gifts…like clothing with names…because it could lead to kidnappings….unbelievable…my kid wouldn’t even know your kid because I’d be too afraid your kid would grow up to be like you!