SON (watching the news on tv): Come on….again?

DAUGHTER: What this time?

SON: The plague

DAUGHTER: The Russian one?

SON: I’d believe so

DAUGHTER: That’s what they’re now going with?….plague?….how original….first, SARS…..coming out of China….Swine Flu….thank you Mexico……Ebola…..we can blame that on Guinea…..COVID……thank you again China…..and now a plague via Russia?……let me guess what happens next….

SON: Spreads worldwide

DAUGHTER: Shutdowns

SON: Lockdowns

DAUGHTER: Masks, mandatory vaccines

SON: Government tightens control on its citizens

DAUGHTER: Big pharma elites make billions

SON: Millions die….supposedly….of the plague

DAUGHTER: We’ve seen this before….so, asking the medical professionals in the room….who deal with the ones in control of our healthcare…..corporate as it may be everyday….standing there with perplexed and worried looks on their faces…..while staring at their darling creations eye balling them…..and remember the COVID affair…….please tell your very much aware of the new….

MOM and DAD: LANGUAGE

DAUGHTER: Wasn’t going there…..just let us know……“Are people going to fall for this new world order crap again?”

MOM and DAD: Most likely 

SON: Shall I handle that face coming through the door?

MOM: “SHUT UP!”

DAUGHTER: It was social studies weaved into societal opportunities between our different races

DAD: Lord have mercy

MOM: “SHUT UP!”

DAUGHTER: Look, the subject spilled over into crime…..and one inbred mutant decided his point was….. “Black on Black crime is much higher than White on White crimes…..and crimes committed by White’s is lower than Black on Black”

SON: Did he seriously go there?

MOM (turns around and gives Son a “Momma-look”…..Son shuts the hell up)

DAD: What was your argument?

DAUGHTER: This…..according to the FBI…..Whites lead in incest, child pornography, abduction of children, US terrorist’s acts, insurance fraud……hate crimes, mass murders inside trading convictions….adding there are at least 11 million crimes perpetrated by the wizzes of Wall Street…..malpractice suits and convicted politicians

DAD: What happened next?

DAUGHTER: That thing, she basically said…. “You’re facts are incorrect and I should try to control my emotions when expressing my opinion”

SON: Rebuttal please

DAUGHTER: I let her know…. “If you have a problem with this product, please call the manufacturers….and you can take your MAGA hat and shove it……”

(Mom, Son, Dad): LANGUAGE    

DAUGHTER: I said in the garbage can

MOM: Yep, she called to speak with the manufacturers

SON: How are you so smart while dealing with such stupidity?…..and about the manufacturer thing….do I have like a 10-year negotiable warranty or something?

(Mom, Dad and Daughter): “SHUT UP”

SON: Dad?

DAD: Son?

SON: I want to play a game with you

DAD: Ok, what are the rules?

SON: They’re easy….if I name a country, you run to the left wall over there….if I name a bird, you run to the right wall over there….if you choose the wrong direction, you give me free unlimited time on our movie channel for a month

DAD (looks at Mom and Daughter in the kitchen….they shrug their shoulders): Ok, but if you mess up….you have to do what I say

SON: Isn’t that a parental thing anyway?

DAD: You know what I mean

MOM (to Daughter): Do you have any idea what is….

DAUGHTER: Not a clue

DAD: Ok, let’s get to it

SON: So, are you ready?

DAD: Speak

SON: Turkey

DAUGHTER: He’s gonna be standing there for the next three days….trying to figure out if he named a bird of a country

MOM: Don’t worry, I’ll feed him

MOM (on the sofa with a martini and watching cartoons): Back so soon?

DAUGHTER: Ah, it’s the end of a school day?

MOM: Already?

DAUGHTER: Seriously?

SON: What ‘cha watching?

MOM: Tom and Jerry

SON: Oh, they had one of the best friendships ever

DAUGHTER: What?….Tom tried to take him out every episode

SON: Not really

MOM: Explain please

SON: Tom never hated Jerry….even though he chased him across the house….through the kitchen, under the table….into walls but no one knew the truth

DAD: Do tell us

SON: Think about it….if Tom ever stopped chasing him….his owner might replace him with a cat that would actually kill Jerry….so Jerry kept running and Tom kept chasing…..they were never enemies…..they were secret friends

DAUGHTER: Huh??

SON: They were trying to save each other the only way they knew…..Jerry helped Tom stay…..Tom made sure Jerry survived….and that’s the strangest kind of friendship

MOM: Thanks for killing one of my favorite violent children’s cartoons….so let me guess you have a theory about the Road Runner and Wile E.?

SON: Actually, I do…you see

(Mom, Dad, Daughter): “SHUT UP!”