…..It’s because dude never built one……there is no way this happened……and we’re talking way before climate change…..40 day…40 nights……major change in climate wouldn’t you think?……just think about it for a second…..and if you do..….it might make you question some of the stories in…… “The Good Book”…..so, here’s how the story goes…..this guy…..who, if legend is true….was an all-out drunk…..a warning sign right there….anyway,….according to “The Good Book”….he received a message from the office high above….. “Yo dog…..look, I have an idea floating around in my head…..I want you to build a big-ass boat…..go around and collect all the existing animals on the planet…..just two of them mind you…..male and female…..put them on that big-ass boat…..and sail around for 40 days…..and 40 nights…..because for reasons I haven’t figured out yet…..blame it on the nectar of the Gods or whatever…..I’m going to make it rain like it’s never rained before…..and wipe every existing thing….off that rock…..now get busy cause I’m giving you a few months to get this shit done.….ya feel me?…..signed….. “The H.N.I.”…..and if you don’t know what H.N.I. means……you better ask somebody…..because I’m not ready to start some shit right now……anyway,…..I’m not sure if the memo told him that…..but according to…… “The Good Book”…..it rained for 40 days…..now, we’re supposed to believe……Noah went to the area now called China……and grabbed two panda bears……up north to Russia/North America and scooped up two…….help me out here….now is it moose or mooses?……anyway,…..all the rare animals in the amazon jungle of South America…..emptied Africa…..walked to Antarctica…..looked at two penguins and said….. “You two will do, come on”…..swung by Australia and boxed up a few kangaroo’s and two sloth’s?…..and any other animal he came across…..ok, that’s that part of the story…..now…..how did he have time to gather up enough food to feed them all?……it’s obvious he had a few……meat eaters……vegetarians……and who knows…..a few vegans……you want me to believe Noah knew…..panda’s and koala bears only munched on bamboo?…..I’m sure the meat eating lions and tigers were walking around and looking at the available morning buffet……and then there’s all the animal shit and piss they had to deal with…..and dump overboard……yeah, after 27 days of dealing with that madness…..I would have to attend A.A. meetings…… “The Good Book” sort of says…..the big-ass boat landed on top of a mountain in a region now called Turkey…..and we’re supposed to believe all the animals said see ya…..and went back to wherever they were before?……40 days and nights of rain just doesn’t disappear overnight.….that takes time…..and when did land re-appear?….and what did they do until the water subsided?……and how in the hell did the animals make it back to their natural habitats?…..they just walked off the ark and said….. “It was nice meeting you…..let’s keep in touch, text me”……you want me to believe a sloth make it back to Australia?…..GTF outta here……if it didn’t hitch a ride on the back of a kangaroo…..or a dingo dog……it should be nearing New Delhi, India right about now……and here’s my next point…….the human race just……died right?…….because I don’t remember reading anything about people treading water for 40 days and 40 nights…..and that’s a lot of H2O…..one day of heavy rain in Hamburg……like serious heavy rain…..shit’s flooded…..therefore, everyone died……and if that’s true….. “The Good Book” needs another “re-write” because all of those who were supposedly descendants of Adam and Eve…….drowned and that means……we’re not descendants of Adam and Eve…..we’re descendants of Noah and his crew…..since everyone except his crew died……and had a lot of free time to entertain themselves…..don’t worry folk…..according to “The Good Book”…..humans…..in some miracle way…..reappeared in the next chapter…..and Adam and Eve are still…..our original parents…..yeah…..go figure!……and trust me…..you don’t want me to get started on Adam and Eve……because I have way too many questions when it comes to those two.