…..Please Lord.….not again.
WAKING UP IS HARD TO DO….Especially after you sat up….and watched two playoff games….and the second one went off at 5 in the morning…..you drank a lot of beer…..and you have to be at work by nine…..you damn right it is.
NFC/AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES…..SEATTLE – GREEN BAY….See,….the NFL did it again….Green Bay was hit with one of the oldest penalties in the game….it’s the last rule in the rule book….page 473….section 15…..article 32-4….sub-article 902…..paragraph 1.333….and it clearly states that… “at any time within an on-going National Football League game….it does not matter if a team picks off four interceptions……recovers a fumble…..clearly shut down an opposing teams running and passing game….it doesn’t matter whether or not the best defensive team cannot get to your quarterback….and your crossing and out route passes are killing them….and so what if Clay Matthews delivered a head shot (and got away with it) to a quarterback…..and shakes-up his confidence…..fake punts which result into a touchdown…..a team flubs an on-side kick….quarterback sneaks in for a touchdown….weird two point plays….a team comes back and ties the game with seconds left….and the “bomb pass” touchdown during overtime play….is allowed”…..that rule is called….. “SHIT HAPPENS!”
ALEX NASH, 5, GETS $24 BILL FROM FRIEND’S PARENTS FOR MISSING BIRTHDAY PARTY…..Hold up a minute….let me get this straight…..just because my son didn’t go to your sons party.….you’re sending me a bill.….for 24 bucks……because he didn’t go right?……really?……you’re out your damn mind..…did it ever occur to you that maybe he didn’t want to go to your sons sorry party?……you don’t have to worry about…. “friendship” anymore”…..because the next time I see any of you..…..it will be by accident.
DOES SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING ACTUALLY WORK?……I think it does…..because I remember when I was back in college.….attempting to achieve a….. “higher education”…..we used to stare into the ice cubes of the drink ads….in the Playboy magazine’s…..and yes.….we also read the articles…..there were all kinds of images hidden within the art work.….that your eye really doesn’t see at first.
NFL INVESTIGATING PATRIOT’S FOOTBALLS…..Can this season get any weirder?…..they’re saying old Tommy boy.….was throwing semi deflated footballs for touchdowns……that man could throw a Nerf ball for a touchdown.….but I didn’t know this…..2 hours and 15 minutes before the game…..officials inspect 12 footballs from each team.….making sure they are between 14-15 ounces…..mark them…..and give the balls to a ball attendant…..is that the guy with a big “K” or some letter on his chest?…..anyway,….and they have a set of 6 just for the kicker.….the officials always check the balls during the game and if one feels fishy…..they toss it…..and one ref stopped play during the game and tossed one….and that’s the Colt’s claim.….whatever, you still got your butts busted…..dead ball or not…..I remember when we were kids…..we had one ball…..if the air went out…..game over!
FRIENDS WANT LIFE ADVICE? TELL THEM TO TRAVEL MORE……Yes,……yes……and yes!
INSTANT REPLAY INVENTOR TONY VERNA DIES AT 81…..Thank you for that wonderful invention Tony…well,…..maybe Cowboy fans aren’t that happy….the first broadcast was on CBS….during the Army/Navy game on December 7th, 1963…..the broadcaster was going nuts….because people were calling the station and asking…. “how can they score so quickly again?”…..all during the game he kept saying…. “this is not live!”
MEET THE LAST SPEAKER OF A DYING LANGUAGE….Marie Wilcox is the last fluent speaker of the Wukchumni language (try saying Wukchumni with a mouth full of Corn Flakes)……it is a language spoken by a Native American tribe of less than 200 remaining members.