……And you know what he did?….no?…then I’ll tell ya….he discovered that Doctors could save patient’s lives simply by washing their hands….bet you didn’t know that on a Friday morning!
ZURICH OPENS SEX DRIVE-IN AS PART OF EFFORT TO MONITOR SEX TRADE….Oh, so what do you do?…..pull up to the window and say, “Yo dog, could I have two ho’s to go?”
NEARLY 1,500 SOUTH AFRICAN POLICE EXPOSED AS CONVICTED CRIMINALS….Talk about the insane running the asylum….murderers, rapists, thieves, assault, drug trafficking, housebreaking, kidnapping, robbery, domestic violence…..and none of them have been fired.
SHOULD MATH REALLY BE A REQUIRED SUBJECT…..Huh???…..who are these people?…..oh sure, have a kid go to the store and the person says to him; “That will cost $5.45″…..and the kid looks at him and says; “What’s that?”….YES!!!!!!
WORLD ORANGUTAN DAY….Now that’s a cool party I’d like to go to…..oh come on, didn’t you watch “Jungle Book?”…..man, they were throwing down!
TWO BURGLARY SUSPECTS IN CUSTODY AFTER RUNNING OUT OF GAS…..If these two idiots looked in the lost and found box they wouldn’t find a damn thing.
PEOPLE ARE TO BE FINED IF THEY MISS THEIR MARK WHILE USING PUBLIC TOILETS…..Only in China….so I guess they have a “Pee-Pee Peeper” standing there and making sure you don’t miss?
JAZZ UP THE KIDS’ LUNCH BOXES THIS BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON…..Yeah, throw in some Prozac, Lithium, a few Space cakes and a beer to wash it all down…..oh, and don’t forget the extra 9mm clip…..it’s a shame kids can’t be kids…..like some of us were!
SNAIL REACH TOP SPEED OF 1 METER PER HOUR….Now you know how fast you’re going when someone says your moving at a snail’s pace.
VENDING MACHINE GIVES OUT FREE BEER….Where???
ONE MILLION COCKROACHES ESCAPE FROM FARM IN CHINA….Can’t you just see them hopping over the fence and the guards firing at them?
HOMELESS MAN ROBS BANK FOR ONE DOLLAR TO GET FREE HEALTH CARE IN JAIL…..How sad is that….say what you want to say but first put yourself in his place…..he walks in…..hands the Teller a note which said, “This is a robbery, give me a Dollar”….the Teller did and then he walked over to the sofa, sat and waited for the Police.
JAMES PACE WITH GUN SNEEZES, SHOOTS SELF IN SHIN DURING BATTLES WITH RACCOON….I bet that Raccoon fell over and busted out laughing…..the fool should be happy he didn’t have the hiccups!