…..I don’t care….it’s Friday….and I’m gonna tell ya….so, coffee…..blunt….Prozac….let’s go….Lord have mercy….they gonna tell us what we know….it leads to a build-up of pressure and major discomfort….huh?….who in the hell don’t know that?….ain’t nothing worse than cutting a “SBD” in a cinema right before Freddy or Chucky is getting ready to carve some stupid teenager up….it’s coming out…..oh, BTW….”SBD” means….Silent But Deadly…..those are the ones you let escape quietly…..but people smell them because they can seriously empty an entire room…..and then try to find out who cut the cheese….and you standing alone…..staring at the pictures of cows hanging on the wall….anyway,….further info…you already know,….a buildup of gas can mess up your abdominal region with….and get this,…gas can reabsorbed into the circulatory system….and when you exhale your breath might smell like a….fart…..I love these “Stupid Study People”…..because here’s their Monopoly get out of jail free card….. “The research is not clear on whether the rise in pressure in your rectum increases your chance of developing a condition called “Diverticulitis,” where small pouches develop in the gut lining and become inflamed-or whether it doesn’t matter at all.”…..don’t know about you…but when I have to fart…..I’m either gonna squeeze the cheeks…..play the funkiest bassline you’ll ever here….walk across the room and discretely burp it out….or just say what the hell,….and blame it on the dog.
HOW DO YOU NAME A BLACK HOLE?….Uh, didn’t you just do that?
15 THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU’RE IN YOUR 30s…..You notice your first gray hair….(nope, didn’t happen until I hit my 50s)…..You start getting random hairs….(ok, I have no clue what that means)….Hangovers….(shit, that started way before my 20s)…..Everything you do involves wine….(like I said before with the hangovers)….You forget you are no longer in your 20s….(seriously?)….Your metabolism stopped working….(tell that to my doctors who keep telling me I’m in perfect health)…..Your digestive system did too….(tell that to Nicole when she walks into the bathroom right after I’ve left it)….All your friends are married….(not all of them when I was in my 30s, but a few were)….You gave up on going out….(nope, sure didn’t)….You don’t stay out late….(when I was in my 30s, I didn’t know what late was)….You’re losing your sense of adventure….(that’ll never happen)…..Things aren’t as fun as they used to be….(that depends on what you consider fun)….You have money…..(shoot, I had money way before my 30s)….Birthdays are the worse days…(not for me….I’m glad to have one since the other alternative of not having one sucks)….You feel old….(no, I’m just older and I’m fine with that)….you know what?…..you “Stupid Study People” need to get from behind the desk….and hangout more!
AWWWW…..
Wife: I love you!
Husband: I love you too.
Wife: Prove it, scream it to the world.
Husband: (whispers in her ear) “I love you”
Wife: Why did you whisper it?
Husband: Because you are my world!
WHAT DO NATIVE AMERICANS WANT FROM A PRESIDENT?…..I could think of two things….one,….for everyone to get the hell out of their country….and two,….stop calling us “Native Americans”….because there wasn’t a name for the continents shared by Indians….both North and South…..and Native America?…..really?….let’s try this…. “Hi, my name is, and I’m from the Abenaki (Abnaki, Abanaki, Abenaqui), Acatec, Achi, Achumawi (Achomawi), Acoma, Adai, Ahtna (Atna), Ais, Akimel O’odham, Alabama-Coushatta, Aleut, Alsea, Alutiiq, Algonquians (Algonkians), Algonquin (Algonkin), Alsea, Andoke, Anishinaabe (Anishinabemowin, Anishnabay), Antoniaño, Apache, Apalachee, Apalachicola, Applegate, Arabela, Arapaho (Arapahoe), Arara, Arawak, Arikara, Arua, Ashaninka, Assiniboine, Atakapa, Atikamekw, Atsina, Atsugewi (Atsuke), Avoyel (Avoyelles), Aymara, Aztec tribe”…..and that’s only the letter A people…..and tribal names go all the way to Z……a list of Indian tribes many of us no nothing about…..and keep the Keystone XL pipeline from destroying our Lakota lands….look, this article was in The Washington Post and it’s long-winded and worded….sort of worth a read….so I’ll take a guess and also say….the so-called Native Americans want you to try honoring the treaties signed many moons ago by your forefathers….and stop speaking with a fork tongue.
NETANYAHU: HITLER DIDN’T WANT TO EXTERMINATE JEWS….Oh yes he did….just like you want to exterminate black Jews….by threatening them with deportation….sterilization…..imprisonment…..and all-out racism…..anyone who survived the camps….or lost a family member in the camps….should hate him for saying such a thing….it happened and like I said before….I’ve read the history….I’ve talked to people who went through and survived that madness…..I’ve seen the camps!
SCHOOLGIRL, 16, KILLS HERSELF AFTER 69% OF INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS TOLD HER TO DO SO WHEN SHE ASKED THEM IN A ONLINE POLL….Society is messed up when you can convince a troubled child…..via technology….even though you’ve never met her…..to kill herself…..Davia Emilia jumped three floors at her home in Sarawak, eastern Malaysia….69% of the people who answered her question….said she should die….the countries health and sports minister….Syed Saddig Syed Abdul Rahman called a meeting to discuss mental health issues…..he said he worries about the state of our youth’s mental health and that it’s a national issues which should be taken seriously….the positive note out of all of this is….Ramkarpal Singh….a lawyer and Malaysian MP has suggested that those who voted for Davia to die could be found guilty of abetting in a suicide….just think….you can be on the other side of the world…..and through your phone you can have the power to decide someone’s fate……what would you do if someone had the power to decide yours?