….I sure as hell hope it’s not supposed to come out the other end!
WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU GIVE AWAY ALL OF YOUR MONEY?….Why on Earth would you think I would?
SCIENTIST DISCOVER THE HUMAN STUPIDITY VIRUS……It’s called the..…ACTV-1 virus..…and it will make you stupid…..and that explains a lot of people…..and it makes you stupid forever….and it exist in most freshwater sources..…out of 90 test studies….40 people were found out to be stupid……because the virus was already in their bodies.…test results are coming from John Hopkins Medical School at the Uni of Nebraska…in other words….they’re saying this is a real mean virus….that makes you “DUMB!”
AUSTIN INTERNATIONAL DRAG FESTIVAL BRINGS HUNDREDS OF DRAG QUEENS TO TEXAS….And the way most of Texas feels about..…gays and same-sex marriages….that had to be pretty interesting..…you know the thing I find funny about people who tease drag queens….they don’t realize it’s a man dressed as a woman…..and he can kick your ass!
MORGAN FREEMAN WANTS TO TRAVEL TO THE FUTURE – TO SEE IF MAN STILL EXIST….Ah,….Morgan…..I love ya but you can’t be that stupid…..think about it…..since you’re traveling to the future….to see if man still exist….and you are a man…what do you think the answer will be?
INDIANA TEEN TAKES GREAT-GRANDMOTHER, 93, TO JUNIOR PROM….I love this kid!….and I love the California school who selected a transgender student as Prom Queen.
TAIWANESE MAN HAS BEEN WAITING FOR HIS DATE TO SHOW UP FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS….Awwwwww….but then again…..she might’ve peeked around the corner..…saw him..…and said..… “Nope!”….and went back home 20 years ago.
RUSSIA ORDERS U.S… “TELL THE WORLD ABOUT ALIENS OR WE WILL”….You have a lot of nerve…..strange holes popping-up in Siberia..…meteors landing there….strange unexplainable artifacts being found..…maybe you need to tell us about aliens.
HUMANS HAVE SHORTER ATTENTION SPAN THAN GOLDFISH, THANKS TO SMARTPHONES….Don’t seem surprised….Smartphones has left humans with a short attention span….it has fallen from 12 seconds in 2000..…to 8 seconds…..so now we know…..Smartphones make people dumb!
KIM JONG SENDING BRUTAL MESSAGE WITH GRISLY EXECUTIONS….Man Kimmie is going Stalin over there..…the Defense Minister was attending one of Kimmie’s speeches….and I’m sure he has….sorry….had…..to attend everyone of them……so,..…but this time..…and I’m assuming here..…Mr.D didn’t get enough sleep last night….and nodded off during Kimmie’s speech….Kimmie shot his butt with an anti-aircraft gun..…y’all know how big those shells are?…..and since he’s been in power..…he’s taken out over 70 people….hey, the man fed his uncle to the dogs…..how many of you have fallen asleep, nodded off…..or just plain passed out during a lecture?
11-YEAR-OLD GIRL HAS HELPED THROW OVER 500 BIRTHDAY PARTIES FOR KIDS IN NEED…..Mandi Simon, 11, is the founder of a Minnesota-based non-profit org. called….Simon Says Give….she provides students in need with birthday celebrations and school supplies…..for families who are finding it hard to make ends meet…she said;..… “Well, I just kind of thought every kid at least deserves a couple of hours or a day to themselves.”
ARKANSAS FAMILY FINDS RACIAL SLURS IN PIZZA BOX….The Pizza Hut in Benton hired a few sick people to work there….Brain Reed and Somante Wallace decided they were still hungry and ordered another pizza to go..…when they opened the box..…they found racial slurs, a swastika and the words KKK written inside the box….that is one pizza that would’ve never touched my lips.
FRANCE TO FORCE BIG SUPERMARKETS TO GIVE AWAY UNSOLD FOOD FOR CHARITY….France, I’m starting to like you..…first,..…all new building being built must have solar power or greenery on their roof tops….and now this..…outlawing the destruction of unsold food products…..and the markets will be forced to donate any unsold food goods to charity..…or for use as animal feed or farm compost….great move….French people throw away between 20-30kg (44-66 pounds) of food per person per year costing an estimate 12 to 20 billion Euros (13-22 billion dollars) annually.