SOME PEOPLE….talk about you…..because they lost the privilege….to talk to you

I AM SURE….that if the mothers of various nations could meet…..there would be no more wars

SPRING CLEANING…..never killed anyone….but why take the chance?

EVERY PERSON, PLACE….animal and event mentioned by the Bible…..are limited to one tiny area…..the Bible contains no knowledge of the outside world…..it’s as if the Bible’s knowledge of the world…..was limited by the knowledge of the people who wrote it

IN 1971….I was riding my bike and fell off….I skinned my knee real bad…..I’m telling you all this now….because we didn’t have social media then

FOR THE FIRST TIME…..in history….you can simply post….”He’s and idiot”…..and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about

IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW …..or you forgot….here’s your daily reminder that…..Indigenous people predated Columbus in the “New World” by……wait for it….23,000 years…..you’re welcome.

NOTHING BRINGS NEIGHBORS TOGETHER…..like a few cop cars….in front of a neighbor’s house….that no one likes

CLUBBING…..doesn’t excite me…..I want to try new restaurants…..and travel to new countries

IF YOU WANT WAR….have sons…..if you want a revolution…..have daughters

WHEN I SAID….make yourself at home…..I meant….go wash my dishes

SCIENCE LITERACY….empowers you to know…..when someone else is full of shit

I THINK IT IS IMPORTANT….to realize that no matter how good you are to people…..it won’t make them good to you

LEGEND SAYS….that when you cannot sleep at night….it is because you are awake in some else’s dream…..so could y’all stop dreaming about me….so I can finally get some sleep?

MY THERAPIST SAID….I needed to make some changes in my life….so I switched from white wine to red

JUST GOT…30 minutes of cardio….trying to pick up an ice cube off the kitchen floor

THANKS….to Hugh Hefner…..and entire generation…..learned to read magazines with one hand

I KEEP…..my mouth shut….but you can still see the subtitles on my face

I WAS GOING….to clean the house….but then I realized….this book isn’t going to read itself

HIGHWAY SIGN:…..You are leaving Florida….Don’t look back….You made it…..Congratulations

AND MY FAVORITE…..

“My philosophy is…..what people say about me is none of my business…..I am who I am and I do what I do…..I expect nothing and accept everything…..and it makes my life easier….we live in a world where funerals are more important that the deceased…..marriage is more important than love…..looks are more important than the soul….we live in a packing culture that despises content……Sir Anthony Hopkins