IF YOUR GRANDMA….used to cut the mold off the block of cheese and said…. “See, it’s still good”…..you’re going to be alright
I WISH….it was socially acceptable to say…. “I don’t care”….and just walk away….from the conversation
NO ONE….stays with you permanently….so learn to survive alone
BEST FRIENDS….are the people you can do anything with…..and nothing with…..and still have the best of times
CRACKHEADS….be mad you don’t have a dollar….like bro….you ain’t got one either
I FEAR ONE DAY….I’ll see one of post marked…as “exhibit A”
NOT EVERYONE….can understand you…..and that’s just fine
BEFORE YOU DO ME WRONG….make sure you never need me again
IF GOD EXISTS……why do we need books to explain it?….or preachers?….the fact that he can’t explain it….is good evidence…..he does not exist
ROCK BOTTOM….has built more champions…..than privilege ever did
LEAVING YOUR HOUSE…..and returning back safely….is such an underrated blessing
WOKE UP…thinking about all the shit I let slide…..I’m going to jail this summer
IT’S SO STRANGE….to think…..before Facebook all this nonsense…..just stayed in people’s heads
IF I WOKE UP….and nothing hurt….I would think I was dead
BE KIND…..of a bitch
CAN’T…decide if I should do laundry…..or fake my own death
IT’S AMAZING….how much you can accomplish around the house…..under the threat of someone coming over
TODAY….I learned that ostriches often walk around…..and then forget where they are going….today, I also learned….that my spirit animal might be an ostrich
I USED TO THINK….coffee was a grown-up drink…..then I thought alcohol was the grown-up drink…..now I have finally achieved full enlightment….to finally understand….that it is water that is the grown-up drink
MY MAJOR SKILLS….are being weird….and petting cats and dogs….and so far….this has not translated into financial success
AS YOU WALK…..down the street….you can tune your “receiver” into the world of any number of channels…..each way of tuning creates a very different street…..but the street doesn’t change….you do
DEAR LIFE….when I said “Can my day get any worse?”…..it was a rhetorical question…..not a challenge
AND MY FAVORITE…..
(Donald Trump)……I’m not worried about the blood bath if he loses…..I’m worried about the concentration camps…..if he wins