….Not as shocked as the spider…who probably said to himself; “Damn, what happened to the tree?”
WOMAN FINDS FROG IN SALAD, ACCIDENTALLY EATS PART OF ITS LEG….Quit yer whining….that’s done every day in France!
CAT ACCUSED OF SMUGGLING CELL PHONE INTO RUSSIAN PRISON….Can you just picture this….”So, how do you plead….”Meow.”
HONG KONG MAN DISCOVERS HE IS A WOMAN AT AGE 66….It took him that long to figure out why he was sitting down to take a pee?
NAKED MAN ARRESTED FOR HIDING IN NEIGHBOR’S DRYER….Man I would’ve turned it on “HIGH” and cooked his butt.
MAN SPITS IN FACE OF SECRET SERVICE AGENT GUARDING OBAMA’S CHICAGO HOME…Now this fool either needed a place to stay because he is homeless…..or he has a death wish!
LEAST PRODUCTIVE TIME OF DAY IS 2:55pm….Whatever Joe….because I’m not too active between 9 and 12.
SALMA HAYEK: MY HUSBAND LOVES WHEN I WEAR LEATHER…..Girlfriend,…..any man would love it when you wear leather.
WHAT WILL WE DRINK WHEN THE PLANET HEATS UP?…..As long as France is still next door..…wine works for me.
MAN SUES DOCTOR AFTER SURGERY LEAVES HIM WITH 8 MONTH ERECTION…..It must be fun trying to pee in the morning.
5 MEN STUCK IN A TREE SURROUNDED BY SUMATRAN TIGERS FOR 4 DAYS….And I know those tigers were saying….”You gotta pee sooner or later!”
TSA REMINDS FLIERS THAT MUSLIMS TRAVEL….And so do Catholics, Jews, Baptist, Methodist, Buddhists, Atheist, Occultist and everyone else….what the hell is this supposed to mean?
CAT HAS BEEN MAYOR OF ALASKIAN TOWN FOR 15 YEARS….Well that explains Sarah Palin.
MAN ASK FOR CLEVELAND BROWNS PALLBEARERS SO THEY CAN “LET HIM DOWN ONE MORE TIME”…..That’s cold dog!
THE WORLDS LARGEST DISH; WHOLE CAMEL STUFFED WITH SHEEP, STUFFED WITH CHICKEN, STUFFED WITH FISH……BURP!!!!!
IS SNOWDEN HEADED FOR VENEZUELA?….He better be headed somewhere because Putin is getting tired of his butt.
MEXICO NO.1 COUNTRY FOR OBESITY…Well I guess America feels better being number 2.
THERE’S ALIEN GAS FLOWING THROUGH NEW YORK CITY’S SUBWAYS….So you’re telling me the reason they smell is because of aliens farting?