……A group of Islamist men have been conducting nightly patrols in Wuppertal…..harassing bar and casino patrons and proselytizing Islam….they’re a group affiliated with Salafist Islam…..which rejects democracy and aims to replace secular law with Sharia Law…..whatever Joe,…..just don’t shove it down my face…..I have enough on my plate to deal with and I don’t need you forcing that shit on me…..if you don’t like it here….bye!
SHEILA E: I INFLUENCED PRINCE, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND…..Like hell you did….it was because of him you were leading the “Glamorous Life.”
STEPHEN HAWKINS: GOD PARTICLE COULD DESTROY THE UNIVERSE WITHOUT WARNING…..the “God Particle” is known as the Higgs-Boson particle….it was discovered in 2012 by physicists using the Large Hadron Collider…..which I think is a long tube and they shoot something around it very fast….he says (Stephen),….. “the universe could undergo catastrophic vacuum decay, with a bubble of the true vacuum expanding at the speed of light and we wouldn’t see it coming……well Stephen,…..since we wouldn’t see it coming…..it doesn’t matter anyway now does it?
ARCTIC SHIPWRECK FOUND AFTER 170 YEARS….Now for some reason….which I cannot phantom without coffee…..Sir John Franklin…..convinced a bunch of Popeye’s to sail…. not on one ship but two from England in 1845….head toward the Canadian Arctic to find a shorter route to the Pacific….by 1846…..frozen solid in the icy tundra….they realized it wasn’t such a good idea….they have no idea as to what happened to the other ship.
MISSING TRAIN TRACED AFTER 17 DAYS IN BIHAR…..How in the hell does a train go missing….for 17 days?….the Gorakhpur-Muzaffapur (wherever the heck that place is) passenger train went missing on August 25…..it had to take a new route because another one jumped the track…..people disembarked….and dude just kept on driving…..they finally traced it to another division…..well didn’t the guy at the other “division” kinda wonder to himself……when this strange train was coming towards him?
13 PEOPLE WORKING AT iPHONE 6 FACTORY IN CHINA DIAGNOSED WITH LEUKEMIA…..Of the 13 confirmed to have the disease…..5 have died…..so far they’re blaming it on the chemicals used to clean electrical panels….once the factory knew they were sick….the 13 were terminated and denied medical assistance….therefore the families had to cover the cost of treatment…..the workers make between $150-200 a month…..I just wanted the Apple lovers to know this.
PORN STAR APPEARS ON COVER OF MATH BOOKS…..Well that’s one way to keep the boys interested in math….way to go Thailand!…..too bad the publisher recalled all 3,000 copies….I would keep one….that’s a collector’s item.
WOMAN DIES AFTER JUMPING INTO CROCODILE PIT AT ZOO…..Ah DOH!
SCIENTIST MAPPED 8,000 GALAXIES SURROUNDING US….And you still want me to believe we’re the only ones right?
CHICAGO’S ART INSTITUTE NAMED BEST IN THE WORLD…..Ok, this person has never been to the Guggenheim museum in New York or Bilboa, Spain…..MOMA in New York….or the Louvre in Paris….that place alone will take you a week just to see the first floor…..and don’t get me started on the museums in Florence, Italy.