…..Well what in the hell do you expect….the man is living at the North Pole….with his wife for 364 days….that alone…locked up with her would drive not only him but her crazy…because I know he’s gonna get on her last nerve sooner or later….and vice versa….plus, ain’t no corner liquor store…so he probably has to sneak across the Canadian or Russian boarders to get some hooch….AND….he has all those fucking elves to deal with….and here’s another problem with those elves….when was the last time any you have seen a female elf?….do they exist?….even the ones who make the cookies only show men….and if there’s only male elves on the planet….then where in the hell do they come from?….I’m not surprised Santa ain’t locked in a room…smoking crack and surfing porn….do you know the pressure this man is under?….having to fly around the world with a bunch of deer dropping shit on everything when they’re airborne….carry a bag of toys that those short mother..f….spent the last year making for a bunch of no good brats around the world…and he has to deliver them all….before the sun comes up….dude has to work his ass off….PLUS….the ungrateful bastards aren’t even kind enough to leave the front door open to make his job easier….no,…he has to slide his fat ass down a damn chimney….dirty up his only Santa suit…praying he won’t be mistaken for a burglar and get shot…..and eat some stale ass cookies and drink warm milk they left out for him….who in the hell wants a warm glass of cow piss…after sitting behind flying farting reindeer all night?….screw that…I’d be ready for some gin and juice….and a joint….so yeah, if Santa is a fat sitting on his ass drunk, in a house on property which will eventually disappear due to the lack of climate control…dealing with a bunch of underpaid workers…..and definitely a screaming wife once in a while…..cool…he earned the right to get shit-faced….and mental health problems?…now that’s an understatement.
A FLORIDA MAN IS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE AFTER CHASING A MONKEY THAT TOOK HIS STEELERS HAT…..A guy from Florida….living in Bali…fell off a roof…because he was chasing a monkey…who stole his favorite Pittsburgh Steelers hat….and now he’s paralyzed from the chest down….ok…..now I’m Raider Nation diehard….and if a monkey snatched my hat….I’d email someone back home to send me another one….and hope the monkey would wear it when the Raiders played….and this guy was worrying about his hat….he needs to worry about that volcano on the island that’s getting ready to throw up.
TRAFFIC IN AUSTRALIA GETS INTERRUPTED BY KOALA STREET FIGHT….Man, these two bears where duking it out and wrestling in the middle of the street….and Australians…being the cool people they are….turned off their cars and motorcycles and watched….until they were finished….the video is cute….I didn’t know Koala’s could throw left-hooks.
PEDOPHILES TO BE GIVEN “CHILD SEX BOTS’ TO PREVENT THEM FROM ATTACKING CHILDREN…..They actually think…if you give a pedophile a sex bot….that looks like a little girl….or boy….this is going to stop them from attacking real children….in what fucking world are the talking about?…..this article and idea is so disgusting I can’t even talk about it…..this idiotic idea is coming out of the brain of Marc Behrendt of ULB University in Belgium…….he claims pedophiles having sex with child sex robots is an inevitability……but Dr. David Levy, the author of Love and Sex with Robots, warned that allowing pedophiles to use child sex robots for their own horrific fantasies could make them even more depraved and “make matters worse”…..and I agree….it’s like putting more wood on a burning fire.