MAYBE THE EPSTEIN LIST….disappeared to the same place….as the bullet wound on Trump’s ear
AS A MOM…I constantly worry about the safety of my children….especially the one…..who’s been rolling her eyes and talking back to me
RULE #1 ON VACATION:…..We are not eating at any food spot….when we could make it at home
IF I POST WHERE I AM….I’ve already left
YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW….what you are capable of….until the moment came to be capable of it
I’M PROBABLY…..the nicest, rudest, most caring, emotionally unavailable, IDGAF, cool-but weird person…..you’ll ever meet
HUMANS…..if I approach and initiate a conversation with your dog…..there is no need to involve yourself….if I wanted to talk to you…..I would
I WAS HOPING….to age like a fine wine….but I seems more like a bottle of MD 20/20
I’M NOT SAYING THAT I’M OLD….but the “oldies” station isn’t playing my parent’s favorite jams anymore……they’re playing mine
I DON’T KNOW…..how to flirt….but I can piss you off if you’re into that
I’M AT AN AGE WHERE…..Fuck you….fuck that and fuck off…..answers almost every question I’m asked
THE RICHEST PEOPLE…..on Earth…..could end world hunger…..and climate collapse….and still be billionaires
I USED TO….look out for people….now I look out for people…..you’ll understand later
HITTING THE GYM….to relieve stress is never effective as…..hitting the people who cause the stress to begin with
THE OLD WORLD…..is dying….the new world struggles to be born….now is the time of monsters
BE WEIRD….it’s the most original version of you
AS A MAN…..I’ve never had to carry peppers spray….just to take a walk…..never had to fake a phone call…..never rehearsed how to scream…..and that’s exactly why I believe women when they say they’re scared…..because I’ve never had to be
I LIVE IN THE SOUTH….where lightning bugs…..use their blinkers more than most drivers
BE THE REASON….Human Resources updates their training
I’M TIRED….of my landlord depending on my rent…..bro, get a job
I AM PATIENT….with stupidity….but not those who are proud of it
AND MY FAVORITE…..
A BOOK BAR….where you can slam a book shut on the bar after you’re finished….and shout “Another”…..and the barkeep will choose a new book…..based on what they think you will most enjoy…..in the moment like some kind of librarian sommelier