I NAMED MY TOILET……Jim instead of John…..everyone is so impressed…..when I tell them…..I go to the Jim in the morning

WE CAN DISAGREE…..and still love each other…..unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression……and denial of my humanity……and right to exist……(James Baldwin)

60 may be the new 40…..but the 100 dollar bill…..is the new 20

I WAS RIDING IN AN UBER…..with my gay male colleague……when his Grindr app notification went off on his phone…..the female Uber driver said;….. “I know that sound – my husband plays that game all the time”

YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE…..when those little voices in your head….start a chat group

SOMEONE SAID…… “30 years ago”…..and my mind went….. “yes, the 70’s”…..but they meant 1992…..and now I need to lie down

BRO: Do you know what the French groundhog sees on February 2^nd?

CUZ: What?

BRO: His chateau

WE HAVE ENOUGH…..money for wars…..but when we have disasters…..we’re told to donate…..crazy ain’t it?

I CAN ACCEPT FAILURE….I can’t accept not trying

BACK THEN……people closed their eyes and listened to the music……today there’s a lot of images…..that go with the music…..a lot of music is crap…..and it’s all commercial and the images…..are all trying to sell the record

BRO: Any history……of mental health issues in your family?

CUZ: No, but it’s gotta start somewhere

DID YOU KNOW…..a school of piranha can devour a small child……down to the bone in 30 seconds……anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today

WHENEVER…a Telemarketer calls…..I stay quiet…..until I hear them say hello a few times….then I whisper….. “What are you wearing?”

THE UNITED STATES….will soon drop out of the top 50 nations…..in terms of life expectancy…..every country above us has a public option…..for health insurance…..of publicly funded healthcare system…..not some…..not most…..every single one

EARLY COFFEE SHOPS IN ENGLAND…..were frequented by students, philosophers…..and other intellectuals…..who engaged in reasoned debate on the latest issues of the day…..the shops charge a penny for admission…..and were dubbed….. “Penny Universities”…..for the alternative form of education they offered

I AM NO LONGER…..available for things……that make me feel like shit

WOKE UP HILARIOUS AGAIN……with gorgeous titties…..and a bad attitude

I HAVE ONE LIFE…..and one chance to make it count for something…..my faith demands that I do whatever I can—–wherever I am…..whenever I can……for as long as I can…..with whatever I have to try and make a difference….. (President Jimmy Carter)

SOMEONE SAID…… “Imagine your history being so horrible…..you want to ban people from learning about it”

I KNOW THE VOICES…..in my head aren’t real…..but boy do they come up……with some great ideas

IN 1987…..an 18-year-old freshman named Mike Hayes…..funded his education by asking 2.8.million people…..for one penny

HUSBAND: Honey, do you want to fool around

WIFE: I can’t I have a Gynecologist appointment tomorrow…..I want to stay fresh

HUSBAND: Do you have a dental appointment tomorrow?

WIFE: I think I’m losing my mind

HUSBAND: That’s because you’ve given me a piece of it……every day since we got married

WIFE: (Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts)

HUSBAND: Nice work with picking a random password

WIFE: It’s our anniversary

WIFE: Good morning to everyone except my husband….whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets…..and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping

WIFE: I cleaned the house today…..so we’re ordering take out tonight

HUSBAND: Why?

WIFE: I’ll be taking no more question at this time

WIFE: Can you take the casserole out of the oven?

HUSBAND: Sure, can you hold the trash can open?

MEL GIBSON, REV BILLY GRAHAM, REV JIM JEFFRIES…..and various groups…..all speak against the Jewish religion……yet, nothing was done to them…..it is a religion all other religions are criticized…..why can’t the Jewish religion be criticized by a Black person?

AND MY FAVORITE…..

THE KING JAMES VERSION OF THE BIBLE……The King James version of the New Testament was completed in 1611…..by 8 member of the Church of England……there were (and still are) no original texts to translate…..the oldest manuscripts we have were written down…..hundreds of years after the oldest apostle died……there are over 8,000 of these manuscripts…..with no two alike…….The King James translators used none of these…..instead they edited previous translations to create a version……their King and Parliament would approve……so, 21^st Century Christians believe the “Word of God”…..is a book edited in the 17^th Century…..from 16^th Century translations…..of 8,000 contradictory copies of 4^th century scrolls…..that claim to be copies of the lost letter……written in the 1^st Century…..that’s not faith…..that’s insanity!