…..Well why didn’t they just throw the damn thing in the garbage?
SURGE IN BRITONS SEEKING GREMAN CITIZENSHIP POST BREXIT VOTE……And more than 280 applications were submitted in Hamburg alone…..since there isn’t a deal guaranteeing the rights of Britons living in the EU after the UK leaves the European Union….the expat population is starting to get a bit nervous……there’s over 100,000 Brits living in Germany already….so what’s a few more……even the Irish Foreign ministry reported that there had been a 40% rise in nationality applications…..people are even applying to Poland……so you know things don’t look good for some people…..or better yet…..why don’t you checkout out the village in Italy…..and they will pay you over 2.000 € to live there.
7,000 BODIES FOUND UNDER UNIVERSITY CAMPUS….The Mississippi State Insane Hospital…..admitted about 35,000 patients between 1855 and 1935…..and about 9,000 of them died there…..and according to a radar scan….they estimate 7,000 bodies are thought to be buried across 20 acres of ground at the University of Mississippi Medical Center.
STRANDED AMTRAK PASSENGERS ORDER PIZZA TO DELAYED TRAIN….And Amtrak officials said that was a very dangerous thing to do…..why is that dangerous?……the train was delayed…..it’s not like it was going anywhere…..and then they came up with this lame excuse…. “It is extremely dangerous to approach a train on the tracks. We are glad no one was hurt and hope this is not tried again in the future”…..yeah, it is dangerous to approach a train on the tracks….especially if it’s going about 90 miles an hour on the tracks……but this one wasn’t even moving….so…?……I hope the delivery guy from Dom’s Pizza in Newport, Delaware got a big tip……because he had to cut through a backyard, step down a steep embankment and jump over a water filled ditch to deliver the pies.
MAN ACCUSED OF REPEATEDLY SENDING SEX WORKERS TO STRIP ON NEIGHBOR’S PORCH…….This sicko started doing this to his neighbor……who lives across the street…..a young couple with two kids….. in May 2013…..and he did this over 75 times….and would watch from across the street……and bang his baloney…..the previous owner of the couple’s home….had the same problem…..Douglas Goldberry…..from Omaha, Nebraska….was arrested…..on the same day his wife filed for a divorce.
TERROR STRIKES AT ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT, LEAVING 22 DEAD…..Wow….it never fails…when summer comes….and the temperature starts to rise….death tolls around the world rise…..I feel so sorry for the concert goers….and their families….the attack was conducted by one man….22 dead…over 50 injured….and the police are calling it a terrorist attack.
HUNTER CRUSHED BY AN ELEPHANT IN ZIMBABWE……Good…..this is actually funny….Theunis Botha was leading a group of hunters when they were surprised by a herd of elephants….and three of them started charging at them….so Botha decided to fire at them….and a fourth elephant snatched him up and lifted him up in the air….another hunter decided to shoot at the elephant….and the elephant fell on Botha as she died…..I feel sorry for the elephant….but not for the hunter.
ELTON JOHN: MTV ERA PRODUCED MANY UNTALENTED MUSICIANS…..It’s not like the man is lying….I can’t even remember the last time I turned on the radio to listen to the garbage coming out of it.
GINGRICH: TRUMP TRIP WILL BE REMEMBERED AS “HISTORIC TURNING POINT”…..Historic turning point how?….by proving to other world leaders….that he is a complete idiot?….when he was in Israel….he told them he just came back from a trip to the Middle East…..the fool didn’t even realize that…..Israel is located in the Middle East….during the NATO meetings…..all the other leaders totally ignored him….and then he had the nerve to say that Germans are very bad…..so who would listen to you Newt?……yo mama named you after a salamander so shut up!