…..At the University Clinic in Hamburg….if you go through the ER….there’s a sign in the waiting room….which lets you know…according to the seriousness of your illness or injury….exactly how long it’s going to take…until the doctor will see you…there’s the damn near dead….immediately…almost but not quite dead…..one hour….not sure if you could be dead….2 hour…..not gonna die….3 hours….you alright….4 hours!
PLAINSCLOTHES OFFICERS IN TROUBLE: DIDN’T RECOGNIZE OFF-DUTY CHIEF…Now this is how stupid Deputy Dawg….and Dudley Do-Right are…..now, Chief rides in a department SUV…if you watch Blue Bloods…that’s what Tom Selleck is rolling in….anyway,….oh, I forgot to mention this…..Chief had his ID tag around his neck….anyway,…Chief Douglas Zeigler….60-years young….parked near a fire hydrant…and Dawg and Dudley decided to say hi…they ordered him to… “Get Out”….and dude didn’t believe his ID was real…oh, it gets better…..the other guy…Dawg or Dudley….you decide….saw a gun when he rolled down the window…and guess what he did?…yep, he yelled…. “GUN!”…..wait, it gets better….they drew their weapons and told him…to get out of the car….now you know by now….Chief said to himself….” What the F..K?!?!”….finally he said;… “Look, do you know who I am?”…he told them…and they still didn’t believe him….even after looking at his ID…around his neck….now y’all know Chief definitely said; “What the…?”…and one of them got into a heated argument with Chief….one of the idiots had his shield and gun taken…with other departmental stuff pending…the other guy…they don’t know yet….did you know in NY alone…145,089 people have been stopped by the NYPD in the first quarter of this year?….and yep,….mostly Black and Hispanic.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A FLY LANDS ON YOUR FOOD…Ugh!….I know you don’t want to know….but I’m gonna tell you anyway…sit!…..flies eat some of the nastiest stuff on the planet…garbage, rotting animals, carcasses – and here’s something else you didn’t know…..flies can’t chew…no teeth….so in order for them to eat….they spit-up enzymes onto their food…and the enzymes dissolves it….and lets them slurp it up…yummm…..bacteria and viruses get stuck to their bodies…and spreads diseases…which make people sick…all they need to do is touch your food for a second…and their legs and all the tiny hairs all over their bodies….transfer the germs from all the other crap they ate before…onto what you’re eating….and since flies can transfer some serious shit….like cholera, dysentery and typhoid…the best piece of advice….once a fly lands on your food….don’t eat it!
WHAT IS A DWARF PLANET?….A planet where there aren’t too many tall people?….I don’t know.
AND OFF TO THE WORLD OF THE STUPID….
Kansas seniors try to sell high school on Craigslist
Hapless robber pepper sprays himself
Florida principal caught smoking weed with a student in her car
Nazi cab driver defends wearing Swastika armband – he’s a Black Nazi cab driver
Man robs woman on elevator, gets stuck in elevator
Woman charged with contaminating family’s milk with shavings of dead skin from her feet
Woman attacks boyfriend in the bathroom of a burrito joint
Texas House votes to keep Daylight Saving Time so Texans don’t have to choose between going to church and watching the Dallas Cowboys play
New Jersey judge rules twin girls have different fathers
After 5-star hotel – ISIS opens shopping mall
Study: Congress literally doesn’t care what you think
PARAMEDIC PROPOSES TO WOMAN HE SAVED FOLLOWING HORRIFIC KNIFE ATTACK….Firefighter-paramedic Cameron Hill answered a 911 call in Clearwater, Florida…he said it was the worst thing he’s seen in 17 years….Melissa Dohme had been stabbed 32 times by her boyfriend….she spent three weeks in the hospital had a stroke…flat-lined four times….and the Doc’s didn’t know if she would be ok….nine months later she gave a speech about the attack…and vowed to reach out to those who saved her life…..she met Hill at another speech she gave…and they hit it off…she was invited to toss the ceremonial pitch at a game between the Yankees and Tampa Bay Rays….Hill ran over…handed her the ball…and the words… “Will you marry me” were written on it….and she said….yep!…her ex- asshole boyfriend was sentenced to life without parole.
WHEN A STUDENT’S BABY STARTED CRYING IN CLASS, THE PROFESSOR HAD THE BEST RESPONSE EVER…Professor Sydney Engelberg who lectures at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem…wasn’t even bother by the fact that a baby was crying in his classroom…the mother stood up to leave….he’s a father of four….and a grandfather of five…he scooped the kid up in his arms…and continued to teach…without missing a beat…he allows mothers to attend his master’s lessons…and they can bring their kids and even breast-feed them….his motto is… “No mother should have to choose between a child and an education.”…he held the baby and continued to teach…as if it was the most natural thing to do…I love this man.