SIS: Are you an adult??

SISTA: Yeah, but not like on purpose or anything

SIS: You should eat 1200 calories a day

SISTA: Okay…..how many at night?

SISTA: Hey, don’t wait for me…..I’m at the hospital

SIS: Is everything ok?

SISTA: I’m ok….it’s just our cousin…..he can’t speak or walk

SIS: OMG?!?…..WHAT HAPPENED????

SISTA: Nothing serious…..he was just born two hours ago

SIS: There should be a zoo just for drunk White people….doing stupid shit

SISTA: It’s called Florida

SIS: You should try yoga…..it makes you relaxed….flexible and loose

SISTA: So do vodka….without all the sweating

TEXT: This you?

SISTA: Who you looking for?

TEXT: Who this?

SISTA: Who are you looking for?

TEXT: Who this?

SISTA: No idea who you are……wrong number

TEXT: Ok and who are you?

SISTA: None of your business

TEXT: Ok, God Bless

SISTA: Hail Satan

SIS: Well, nobody told you to bring the heavy bag

SISTA: And nobody told you to bring that nasty attitude either…..but I’m stuck with both of you

SIS: There is no “I” in happyness

SISTA: Well, if you spelled it right there would be

SIS: I’m finally going on vacation…..goodbye America…..hello New York

SISTA: New York is in America you idiot

SIS: Have you ever taken a geology class?…..I think I would know stupid

SIS: I just baked me some synonym donuts

SISTA: Yep,….just like grammar used to make

SISTA: My 7-day diet is over

SIS: How come?…..you just started it yesterday

SISTA: I decided to finish it early…..so what?

SISTA: We have a new nephew….born at 9:30…..7 lbs 12 oz…..mom and dad are doing great…..to be named tomorrow

SIS: Tomorrow is a really stupid name for a baby

SIS: So, without revealing your actual age…..what’s something you remember…..that if you told a younger person…..they wouldn’t understand?

SISTA: Video games only worked on channel 3

SISTA: I started my juice cleanse yesterday….and also went on a hike

SIS: Bullshit…..what’d you really do

SISTA: Drank 3 bottles of wine…..and fell down the stairs