SISTA: Yo….

SIS: What?

SISTA: I got a question

SIS: Ah…ok

SISTA: Why is there no mouse flavored cat food?

SIS: That’s it…..I’m calling your dealer

SIS: One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do……is to stop loving someone…..because they’ve stopped loving you

SISTA: Bullshit…..I think it’s harder to put toothpaste…..back into its container

SIS: And how was your blind date last night?

SISTA: Let’s just say….his brain could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years…..without touching the sides

SIS: You really need to be more healthy

SISTA: Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible

SISTA: Hey…..

SIS: What now

SISTA: Do you know if…..You Tube…..Twitter…..and Facebook merge…..they might be called…. “YouTwittFace?”

SIS: I promise….I’ll make it look like an accident

SIS: Your doctor called?

SISTA: And?

SIS: She has your x-ray

SISTA: What the hell are you talking about?….I never had a boyfriend named Ray

SIS: I don’t feel so good

SISTA: What’s wrong now?

SIS: I think I have a bladder infection

SISTA: Boy,….. “urine in trouble”

SIS: Oh….you got joke huh?

SISTA: (Uncontrollable crying)…..I can’t see you anymore…..I won’t let you hurt me again

TRAINER: It was a sit-up…..you did one sit-up

SISTA: Last night…..even after having seven drinks I felt confident to drive….but I acted responsibly…..and took an Uber

SIS: Where did you go in the Uber?…..the party was at our house

SISTA: That was an interesting meal you cooked

SIS: Why thank you

SISTA: I’m sure you cooked it blind-folded….while a crazed ferret crawled all over your face

SIS: Would you rather….have 30 million dollars…..or 30 million loyal friends?

SISTA: 30 million loyal friends….and ask them all for a dollar

SIS: What’s the darkest thing you’ve ever done?

SISTA: I turned the lights out once

TAROT CARD READING: A lot of your problems…..are your own fault

SISTA: Bitch,….you need to reshuffle

SIS: How much do you normally spend on a bottle of wine?

SISTA: about 30 minutes, max

SIS: What’s the fastest cure for a hangover?

SISTA: Discovering that you lost your phone

SIS: You need to change your diet….eating fruit is good for you…..you should eat more fruit

SISTA: Really?…..and how well did that work out for Eve

SIS: So, how was your blind date last night?

SISTA: He’s about as useless….as a fire extinguisher in Hell