SIS: You’re horrible…..you don’t care if I live or die
SISTA: Not true….I have a definite preference
SIS: What’s the best way…..to tell someone their baby is ugly?
SISTA: Awww, it looks just like you
SIS: If someone gave you $200 dollars….because “you’re ugly”…..would you take the money?
SISTA: Absolutely….I’m ugly…..not stupid
SIS: And how was your wonderful date last night??
SISTA: That fool couldn’t pour water out of a boot…..if the instructions were on the bottom
SIS: Sorry, I’m running 15 minutes late
SISTA: Run faster
SIS: Ok, now if you’re offered $50,000….but if you accept it….the person you hate most in the entire world….gets $100,000…..are you taking it?
SISTA: Yes….why wouldn’t I want $150,000?
SIS: If you could snap your fingers….and instantly make the world better….what would you do?
SISTA: Snap my fingers….obviously
SIS: My cooking is so fabulous
SISTA: I know…..even the smoke alarm cheers you on
SIS: I just heard…..that all my best friend’s kids have ADD
SISTA: Yeah,…..all different daddies?
SIS: Why did you say.….you’re boyfriend and instant noodles have something in common?
SISTA: Because they’re both done in two minutes
SIS: Did you hear about the guy….who died of a Viagra overdose
SISTA: They couldn’t close his casket or what?
SIS: Sometimes I hate you…..because you’re such a pain in the ass
SISTA: Awwww…..my middle finger loves you
SIS: And how was your night with that fine-ass….nice butt….professor guy I introduced you too?
SISTA: His grades say marry rich…..but his face said….study harder
SIS: So, how was your first day at work today?
SISTA: Let’s just say…..I work well with others….when they leave me the fuck alone
SIS: I received the highest mark…..on my English essay…..I’m so smart
SISTA: Really?….did you know that the word…..incorrectly…..is spelled…..incorrectly…..in every dictionary?
SIS: Huh?
TEXT (from ex-boyfriend)……You ever think about getting back together?
SISTA: You ever took a shit…..and thought about putting it back in your ass?
TEXT: I miss you…..come back to me
SISTA: Where are you?
TEXT: My apartment
SISTA: Go to the window
TEXT: I’m here
SISTA: Jump
TEXT: I always want to text you to tell you I miss you….but never do…..I miss you
SISTA: Keep never doing that
SIS: So,….how was the date last night??
SISTA: His mother should’ve thrown him away…..and kept the stork
SISTA: How is practice going?
SIS: Terrible…..I want to stab everybody here
SISTA: Okay….just don’t get any blood on your clothes
SIS: You’re a lawyer…..you shouldn’t be condoning this
SISTA: Don’t tell me how to live my life
SIS: You’re the only one who understands me
SISTA: Yeah….but it doesn’t mean I care
SIS: I can’t believe I’m pregnant again…..it must be something in the air
SISTA: Yeah…..your legs
SISTA: I just ended a five-year relationship
SIS: OMG…..are you ok?
SISTA: Yep….I’m fine….it wasn’t my relationship
SISTA: Can you help me get this stain out of my dress?
SIS: Come again?
SISTA: No, this time it’s red wine