PHONE CALL: You know….people treat me like a God

SUSAN: How so?

PHONE CALL: They ignore my existence…..unless they need something from me

SUSAN: Hey

PHONE CALL: Hey

SUSAN; How’s ur nite going?

PHONE CALL: My what?

SUSAN: Night

PHONE CALL: Oh, ok, goodnight

PHONE CALL: I miss those times when women had to wash dishes…..and weren’t allowed to speak

SUSAN: I miss those times…..when men would go off to war and die there

PHONE CALL: I want to wake up with you…..for the rest of my life

SUSAN: I get up at 5:00 AM

PHONE CALL: Never mind

PHONE CALL: Hey….whatcha doing later?

SUSAN: Nothing

PHONE CALL: Wanna hang out?

SUSAN: I have plans

SUSAN: What is the best response to….. “I don’t date short guys?”

PHONE CALL: Bite her knees

PHONE CALL: What’s your problem?…..I was just being nice…..when I opened the car door for you

SUSAN: Well, it would’ve been a nicer gesture……if we hadn’t been going 80 mph

SUSAN: So how did your high school crush turn out as an adult?

PHONE CALL: She married a successful guy….who is now an executive vice president in a large company……that everyone is familiar with…..she rich and travels the world

SUSAN: She sure dodged a bullet

SUSAN: Your snoring kept me awake half the night

PHONE CALL: Maybe it’s time to get separate beds

SUSAN: No way

PHONE CALL: You can’t stand the thought of being apart from the old man eh?

SUSAN: No, I can’t stand the thought…..of having to make two beds every day

SUSAN: I love it when you’re romantic….say those three little words that always melt my heart

PHONE CALL: Where’s my supper?

SUSAN: You can’t spell manipulative without a man

PHONE CALL: Also, you can’t spell woman…..without man….what’s your point?

SUSAN: Refer to us as ladies…..we don’t mind

PHONE CALL: Can’t spell ladies…..without lad…..try again…..