GRANDSON: Grandma….did you know….if a guide dog judges that a command is unsafe….it will refuse the command….and this is called…. “Intelligent disobedience”

GRANDMA: I wish we could get that damn mutt….to teach humans this skill

GRANDSON: Grandma,….do you remember those wild parties…..you went to in the 60’s?

GRANDMA: Remember them…..I’ve still got the Tupperware

GRANDSON: Do you have any regrets when you look back on your life?

GRANDMA: Nope…..I can look back with a totally clear conscience

GRANDSON: You’ve been that good huh?

GRANDMA: No….my memory’s that bad

GRANDSON: Grandma…..where did you grow up?

GRANDMA: In a small town in England

GRANDSON: And where did grandpa grow up?

GRANDMA: He didn’t

GRANDSON: My heart gets heavy thinking about the giant trash island in the ocean

GRANDMA: Yeah, England is a joke

GRANDSON: You know what my favorite thing about grandpa is?

GRANDMA: His life insurance?

GRANDSON: What’s your secret to 55 years of marriage?

GRANDMA: We never hated each other on the same day

GRANDSON: Is Roscoe your dog….or grandpa’s dog?

GRANDMA: Well, I’m the one who feeds him…..waters him…..and takes care of him….so I suppose that makes him mine

GRANDSON: Is that how you got grandpa?

NEIGHBOR: Hey…..did I see you walking a pig??

GRANDMA: Yes, she’s my pet

NEIGHBOR: You can’t seriously think it’s a good idea…..to have a smelly disgusting pig in our building, can you?

GRANDMA: Given some of the men I’ve seen you bring home at 2am….I’m not sure I get your point

GRANDMA: (Text)…..I think there’s something wrong with my phone…..I don’t think my text are going through

GRANDSON: Yeah, they’re getting through

GRANDMA: How can you be sure?

GRANDMA: Please stop changing the google logo so much…..I like the original one

GRANDSON: I don’t change the logo….google changes it

GRANDMA: On my computer….you don’t run the google?

GRANDSON: If I did….I wouldn’t be driving a 2004 Ford

GRANDSON: Grandma….did grandpa fight in World War II?

GRANDMA: Yes he did….he came home with one leg……we never figured out whose leg it was though

GRANDSON: The new fridge I bought you is what they call a smart fridge…..it will ping your phone if you leave the door open

GRANDMA: Well, why doesn’t it just close the damn door if it’s so smart?

GRANDSON: Grandma….are you ok?

GRANDMA: No,…today was a sad and disappointing day for me

GRANDSON: Why, what happened?

GRANDMA: I discovered my universal remote control….did not if fact…..control the universe

GRANDSON: And how many gummies did you eat today?