DAD: You do know tonight is our date night, right?

MOM: Yep

DAD: And the kids are gone….so the berries are ripe and ready to be harvest

MOM: I bet you spend time….wondering what to cook with a rice cooker don’t you?

DAUGHTER: Mom, you won’t believe this

MOM (on the sofa drinking her martini): What’s that?

DAUGHTER: A woman in Arizona gave birth to a 14-pound baby boy

MOM: Wow, so Arizona now has two Grand Canyons

DAUGHTER: You do know where you’re going when you die right?

MOM: Yep, see you there

DAUGHTER: You’re still in your pajamas

MOM: I’ll get dressed soon

DAUGHTER: It’s 4 in the afternoon

MOM: Don’t rush me

DAD: So, what did you learn in school today?

DAUGHTER: Learned about dragons

DAD: Did your class learn about dragons?

DAUGHTER: I learned about dragons…..I don’t know what everybody else was doing

MOM: Ok, what the heck happened at school today?

SON: I had a test in class today and the teacher gave me an “F”

MOM: WHAT????

SON: And she wants you to sign it…..I have to and bring it back tomorrow

MOM (grabs the test and starts reading):

1…..In which war did Napoleon die?…..(His last one)

2…..Where was the Declaration of Independence signed….(At the bottom)

3…..River Ravi flows is which state…..(Liquid state)

4…..What is the main reason for divorce?…..(Marriage)

5…..What is the main reason for exams?…..(Failure)

6…..What can you never eat for breakfast?…..(Lunch & dinner)

7…..What looks like half an apple?…..(The other half)

8……If you threw a red stone in a blue sea what would it become?…..(Simply, a wet stone)

9…..How can a man go 8 days without sleeping?…..(Easy, sleep at night)

10…..How can you lift an elephant with one hand?…..(You can never lift an elephant that has one hand)

11…..If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand…..and 3 oranges and 4 apples in the other hand….what would have?…..(Very long hands)

12…..If it took eight men 10 hours to build a brick wall….how long would it take 4 men to build it?…..(No time at all….the wall was already built)

13…..How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?…..(Any way you want….because a concrete floor is hard to crack)

MOM: And she flunked you for this?

SON: Yeah, you still have to sign it

MOM: So you can return it back to her?

SON: Yes

MOM (Signs): A+…..for creativity

MOM: I’ve been tired for 16 years

DAUGHTER: That’s how old I am

MOM: Oh, weird

DAD: Last month I took my wife to the Caribbean

(Work partner): Jamaica?

DAD: No, she wanted to go