MOM (Drinking a martini): So, what’s your brother doing?

DAUGHTER: He’s upstairs watching Cinderella on the tv

MOM: Now there’s one of the worst kid cartoons ever made

DAUGHTER: Huh?…what do you mean?

MOM: Come on….it’s depressing

DAUGHTER: I don’t get it

MOM: Look, here’s a kid who lives with her stepmom….who makes her sleep in the attic….treats her like crap….stepmom’s kids treat her like crap….dealing with domestic slavery and stepmom is abusing every child labor law on the planet….she probably starves her to death because she becomes delusional and winds up talking to and making friends with a bunch of rats…..and then all of a sudden….this fairy lady thing pops up in the picture and tells her she can meet the man of her dreams if she goes to a party….then fairy person turns something you can make a pie out of into a carriage to take her to it….turns her rat buddies into horses….hook them up to the pie thing…..and it takes her to a palace so she can meet the man of her dreams….and fairly lady gives her a 12’o clock curfew…..and if she doesn’t return home by then….everything becomes a dream deferred….great story for kids huh?

DAUGHTER: Ok, but what happens when she gets to the ball?

MOM (Takes a sip…burps): She meets the prince and probably gagged

DAUGHTER: MOM!!!!!

MOM: What?….you think Snow White had it any better?

DAUGHTER: Huh?

MOM: Here’s a woman living in the woods….in the same house with seven little midgets…and getting slammed every night…..the slut

DAUGHTER: SERIOUSLY????….you don’t know that

MOM: Wanna bet?….before they left to work in the mines every morning…..they would sing to her…. “Hi ho….hi ho….it’s off to work we go”

DAUGHTER: DAD!!!!!

DAUGHTER: Mom, guess what?

MOM: Surprise me

DAUGHTER: I met a boy

MOM: REALLY??

DAUGHTER: Yeah….I live here and he lives in England…..we met on a dating website

MOM: A dating site?

DAUGHTER: Yep….we became friends on Facebook….had long chats on WhatsApp….sealed our relationship on Zoom….and now we have been in a relationship for 3 months on Instagram…..so I hope you’re ok with this

MOM: Awwww, really?….then why don’t you…..get married on Twitter and have your honeymoon on Tik Tok….buy your kids on Amazon….send them via E-mail….and if you are fed up with your future husband….you can sell him on eBay….what the hell is wrong with your generation?….you’ll probably get divorced on Snap chat