…..This fool ain’t never gonna die…..he’s been in power since 1980….and rigged every election since then…..his wife said she promised to use a wheelchair to transport him to election rallies and said he would be the voters choice even after he dies….. “One day when God decides that Mugabe dies, we will have his corpse appear as a candidate on the ballot paper. You will see people voting for Mugabe as a corpse”….what is his wife smoking?…..while the country starves…and 93% of Zimbabweans are wallowing in poverty…..the ruling ZANU-PF party plans to spend about $2.5 million for his birthday celebration…..oh, and just to let you know how intelligent his wife is….she said,… “Girl’s have a higher chance of getting pregnant than boys.”
CITY FINES INTERRACIAL COUPLE WHO FOUND RACIST GRAFFITI ON HOME….Now let me get this straight….they’re being fined $100 bucks a day….because they refuse to remove a racist statement written on their house…..and they refuse to remove it until the police do their job and catch the ones who did it…..and this isn’t the first time this has happened to them….so the best idea the city of Stamford, Connecticut could come up with….is to fine the ones who are being racially attacked?…..wow!
AND OFF TO THE WORLD OF THE STUPID…. A flight leaving Norway was delayed 5 hours after nearly all crew members failed a breathalyzer test
Man arrested after taking a sex selfie with his pile of weed
Nebraska football announcer arrested for stealing money from an old woman
In police van, suspect allegedly asks: “What happened to the guy I stabbed?”
Weather map shows 100% chance of Penis
Canadian Mormon has 24 wives and 133 children
Man seeking state police job takes polygraph test, gets 20 years in prison
Man soils underwear during lap dance
Man accused of killing rich dad wants to know where Rikers Island holds yoga classes
Man shot at the same intersection three times in the past three years
Man leaves 20-year-old daughter to drown at Dubai beach rather than allow rescuers to touch her
Kindergarten teacher detained for stapling 4-year-old’s ear
Man kicked out of jury duty for wearing prison garb
Man sues Chinese actress over her intense stare in TV show
Well-dressed goat goes for a ride on Melbourne train
Doctors remove 420 kidney stones from patient
Krispy Kreme apologizes for “KKK” Wednesdays
Midway man accused of taking free tourism brochures faces felony charges
Indian city pays people to pee in toilets
Scientists want to have a look inside the butts of surfers for “Superbugs”
Georgia woman charges with murder for taking abortion pill; could face death penalty
Germany’s oldest student, 102, gets PhD denied by Nazis
Female armpit hair competition takes off in China
New Jersey ranks No. 1 in people leaving a state
Fox News interviews the Amish about Caitlyn Jenner
Naked beer festival to hit London
Masked Serbian schoolchildren, armed with plastic knives, steal grade book
NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION PRESIDENT JIM PORTER…..Now I don’t know if this is a direct quote….fake news….alternative facts…..or just total bullshit….but one thing it is….it’s scary….this is what he had supposedly said…. “I’m very proud to be taking the lead here of the NRA. We need to really buckle down and strap on our best arguments to defend what is our God given rights. No more folk tryin’ to take away what is rightfully ours. I will not stand by and let some liberal-elitists try to ruin what has made this country great, especially a liberal of, you know, a different breed”….now when he was asked to clarify his statement…he said… “I don’t have to clarify. You know darn well what I mean. In fact, it’s only a matter of time before we can own colored people again. They sure as hell won’t be our leaders. It’s outright embarrassing. The war of Northern aggression made it all possible, and you be best to know it’s all gonna change back. I’ll be on the front lines making sure it happens. I don’t want my grandkids growing up and taking orders from a colored man. It’s our God given right to keep them as property and keep them in line.”…..I’m sure by now some of you understand why I have no desire to move back home and love living across the pond…..since this last election…..people are losing their goddamn minds…..because what people kept hidden when it came to race relations…..is now coming out in the open…..and people have no problem showing it and letting you know how they feel…..and why all of a sudden….when I’m travelling within my own country…where I was born….I might have to carry my passport and show it to custom agents to prove I’m an American?
NOW YOU CAN GIVE ORAL SEX LONG-DISTANCE BY LICKING YOUR PHONE…..Y’all know I’m crazy…..but even I couldn’t have come up with this idea…. “O-Cast”…..a new digital marketing place came up with this….it allows people to upload simulated oral sex sessions that can be downloaded on to a vibrator via Bluetooth…..and it plans to offer all sorts of different tongue patterns you will be able to download from their website…..I have a favor to ask all the people out there who know me and love me…..please get me off this planet!