BEFORE….you go any further….today is not the day…..and I am not the one
I’M NOT….just a dreamer….I’m a hopeaholic
NOT ONE TO BRAG……but this is like…..the 10th end of the world I’ve survived
YOU NEVER….realize how long a minute is….until you’re exercising
THE DIFFERENCE…..between Trump and Jim Jones is….that Trump would charge you for the Kool-Aid
RECENT STUDIES SHOW…..that the most expensive vehicle to operate….in today’s world….is the grocery cart
IT’S KINDA FUNNY…..how being old doesn’t seem so old….now that I’m actually old
I’M NOT A GENTLE PARENT…..I talk to my kids like Samuel L. Jackson
STARTED JOGGING TODAY….I didn’t want to….but the ice cream truck didn’t stop
REPEAT AFTER ME….unexpected money is NOT….about to hit our bank account…..stop sharing that nonsense….and get a real job
THE BAD NEWS IS…..I accidentally took the wrong medicine today…..the good news is….I’m now protected from….heartworms and fleas for the next three months
DEAR KARMA….I have a list of people you missed
IT’S OK….to forgive people….and still deny them access to you
IF YOU ARE PERSISTENT….you will get it….if you are consistent….you will keep it
IT’S BETTER….to grow old with a sense of humor….than to grow old….with no sense at all
WINE IS….approximately 85% water….stay hydrated
TRUMP….is selling bibles….and Fox News is blaming the Baltimore bridge collapse on our “broken border”…..there’s a big sector of our society….that has absolutely lost its collective marbles
YOU THINK I’M COOL….wake me up from a nap for no reason….and see how uncool I can get
LIFE IS….already hard….I don’t want to be around anyone….who makes it worse
ONCE THE GLUE….of the family passes away….holidays just aren’t the same anymore
IF YOU’RE NOT CAREFUL…..the newspapers will have you hating people….the people who are being oppressed…..and loving the people who are doing the oppressing
90’SCIENTISTS: We cloned a sheep….we landed a robot on Mars
SCIENTISTS TODAY: For the last time….the earth is round
ONE OF THE PENALTIES….of refusing to participate in politics….is that you end up being….governed by your inferiors
PEOPLE WHO CAN WATCH….horror movies for fun….and then peacefully sleep….are demons
I AM THANKFUL….for nights that turn into mornings….friends that turn into family…..and dreams that turn into reality
YOU SAY….Jesus was crucified for you….but forget that your ancestors were hanged, burned alive, buried alive…..by people who preached the gospel of Jesus
MOST KIDS….are raised by a parent that says….
“If they swing first….tell an adult”…..I’m a Boomer….I was raised with a parent that said….. “If they swing first….finish it!”
IT’S STRANGE TO THINK……an embryo…..can lose its rights….if it develops into a female
AND MY FAVORITE:
IN SPITE OF CULTURAL TRAUMAS….wrought by the injustices of white racism and slavery….most inventions that have revolutionized the world….were either invented by Black people…..or directly inspired by earlier inventions by Black people….your perception is a White deception…..the basic tool required for the distortion of reality….is to control all of the narratives…..because White people control all of the narratives…..they therefore control the perception of reality…..by systematically feeding false narratives….into the society they’ve created a false perception of reality…..that falsely exalts their racial group….who falsely marginalizes Black people