ME… Sweetheart, I’m going to the market. Do you need anything? I wrote down milk, eggs, juice, bread, water and some other stuff we need.
WIFE…. Ok, could you bring me one banana?
Me… Excuse me?….Did you just ask me to bring you….one banana?
WIFE…. Yeah, I want one banana.
ME… For what?…..nobody goes to a store and buys one banana.
WIFE… Ok, but I only want one banana.
ME…. Do you know how stupid that sounds?….You really want me to go into a supermarket and buy…one banana? That makes no sense….They come in bunches. It’s either 3 or 5 or whatever.
WIFE… Fine..…but I only want one banana.
ME…..Oh come on……really?
WIFE……Yeah.
ME..…So let me get this straight……you want me to go shopping and bring back..….one banana…..not 2 or 5 or whatever……just one……that’s like going there and buying one egg.
WIFE…..Ok.
ME…..No it’s not ok…..no one buys one egg……when you can buy 10 or 12 of them…..that’s like going to a restaurant and ordering half an omelet…..are you kidding me…..why would I only buy one banana?
WIFE….Because I only want one banana.
ME….. What idiot would go into a market……and buy one banana?
One banana cost 36 cents.
LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE ARE QUICKER THINKERS…..Living in a right-handed world….we have to be.
THE WEIRDEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE INSISTED THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN….And here are a few of them…..a university student thought owls were mythical creatures because they are in the Harry Potter stories…..(education money thrown out the window)…..until 2013 my wife didn’t think nuns existed…..an ex-girlfriend didn’t believe in headaches (hence the word “ex”)…..a woman didn’t believe in magic and thought all the Vegas magicians were practicing witchcraft..….no matter how much proof he showed her to convince her…..ants are ants..….she still thought they were spiders…..a co-worker didn’t believe in solar eclipses..…he said you would have to be stupid to believe that because the moon would melt if it went into the sun (when his co-worker tried to explain it..…he called him a Scientologist)…..a woman thought Greenland was a joke name given to a big iceberg (when you think about it – she’s not too far off)……a grandmother was convinced that Obama wasn’t half-white….her grandson showed her a photo of his white mother….nope – still not convinced…and here’s a true grandma:
GRANDMA: If she’s so white, how come we never see her?
GRANDSON: “Grandma, she’s dead.”
GRANDMA: “Well, isn’t that convenient.”
AND…..if you loved that one….you’re gonna really love this one!
THIS GUY SAYS…. “Here’s one from my sister…..About a year ago…. (she’s 21)….she and I along with my parents were riding in the car and she looks at the crescent moon and says, “It’s so weird how the moon does that” and we asked her to explain. She went on to explain how she still couldn’t wrap her head around how the moon’s light could just stop shining like that. That was the day we had to explain that the moon was just a rock and not emitting light to a 20-year-old college student who just got accepted to a law school.”