…..And brain freeze kicks in again…..time to call it a day Mitch…..he was answering questions…..and then…..his brain entered pause mode……it was like watching an old episode of…..Lost in Space…..where Dr. Smith yanks out the robot’s battery….. “As I said before, we must-eeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr”……..look Mitchie, take the hint…..when you hit the retirement age…..retire…..I love international news…..every time I try to find out more news on dear old…..Mitch…..it tells me the info is not available in this country.
WHAT HAPPENED TO DRUNKEN WOMEN IN ANCIENT ROME?…..Ah,…..that got drunk?….I don’t know…..I wasn’t there…..let me ask Nicole…..she’s European…..she didn’t know…..didn’t give a……!
100 MILLION SEEDS FROM NATIVE PLANTS ARE RELEASED INTO THE BRAZILIAN AMAZON BY DARING SKYDIVER…..Brazilian stunt performer….Luigi Cani…..an incredible athlete…..who has nearly completed 14,000 jumps….and set 11 world records over his two-decade long career…..skydived into a deforested part of the Amazon….with a box containing 100 million seeds from 27 native plants….this idea took five year of intense planning…..first he had to obtain the proper permits from the Brazilian government…..to build a biodegradable seed box…..that would properly distribute the seeds….and two months were needed to cultivate the seeds from a nearby rainforest…..don’t know about you…..but I like this guy.
100-YEAR-OLD OAK TREE FALLS ON FLORIDA GOVERNOR’S MANSION DURING HURRICANE IDALIA…..Hey,…..karma’s a bitch huh?
NORTH KOREA AND RUSSIA MEET OVER ARMS DEAL…..Really?…..Vlad wants to buy Lil Kim’s rockets?…..Lil Kim’s rockets plop down in the ocean…..only to keep Godzilla in check……they don’t work.
AND OFF TO THE WORLD OF THE STUPID…..
A judge rules that Burger King must face a lawsuit that alleges it makes its whopper burger appear larger on the menus than reality
The Police have confirmed that the woman found dead along the side of I-95 was actually a very beautiful raccoon
A woman who stabbed her grandfather in the face after he asked her to take a shower was arrested
Russia is demanding Norway pay over $4.4 million in compensation after 42 reindeer wandered across the border
STUFF I REALLY DON’T CARE ABOUT…..
MEET THE STRIPPER…..that sells her used heels to random men…..making double what she paid for them…..I really don’t care…..
IVANKA AND TIFFANY TRUMP’S…..relationship has reportedly taken a drastic turn….after daddy’s indictments……I really don’t care…..
WHY DO….cats put their butts in your face?…..I really don’t care…..
NEVADA BROTHEL…..offers a discount to residents of Utah…..the most sexually repressed state…..I really don’t care…..
A BRIDE WAS IN TEARS…..after the groom confessed at the altar……that he loved someone else…..that’s messed up…..but I really don’t care…..
MARIJUANA USERS FOUND TO HAVE LEAD AND ANOTHER HEAVY METALS IN THEIR BLOOD…..According to a new study…..studies which pop up every other week….may have found elevated levels of lead and cadmium…..two heavy metals linked to long-term health issues…..in their blood and urine…..actually, 27% higher levels of lead in their blood…..if this new study is true….I should be dead by now…..they also say….there is no safe amount of lead exposure…..since even low levels can slow children’s brain development….thank goodness I’m an adult…..but in adult’s….chronic exposure increase the risk of high blood pressure, heart problems and kidney damage…..and yet I’m still here…..and healthy.
JAPANESE MINISTERS EAT FUKUSHIMA FISH TO SHOW IT’S SAFE AFTER NUCLEAR WASTEWATER IS DISCHARGED INTO THE OCEAN…..Oh just give it a few weeks……trust me…..after eating that fish…..they won’t need to turn on the lights…..when they walk into a dark room.