March 28, 2023

LOVE AND MARRIAGE……LOVE AND MARRIAGE……

WIFE: I realized I need you very much

HUSBAND: Why, what happened?

WIFE: I’ve been trying to open this jar for 30 minutes…..and I can’t

WIFE: What do you think we should do this weekend?

HUSBAND: Eat pizza

WIFE: No, something romantic

HUSBAND: Eat pizza in the rain…..and sing

HUSBAND: You know, my folks really like you…..they called you a very sweet and clever girl

WIFE: I’m glad to hear that

HUSBAND: But I couldn’t resist…..and told them that they’re mistaken

HUSBAND: Darling, to me you are one in a billion

WIFE: Wait a minute!…..Earth’s population is seven billion

HUSBAND: What??

WIFE: So, this means you’re dating six more girls behind my back?

HUSBAND: That’s not what I meant

WIFE: Too late…..the truth is out…..good luck with your secret harem

HUSBAND: Are you mad at me?

WIFE: No

HUSBAND: Good

WIFE: What the heck do you mean?…..What’s so freaking good about it?…..when I say I’m not mad at you…..this doesn’t really mean…..I’m not mad at you

HUSBAND: You spend all your day sleeping, eating and lounging on the sofa

WIFE: That’s because I’m Catwoman…..just not the kind you see in the Batman movies

WIFE: We can’t live together any more…..do you know why?

HUSBAND: Because I’m a heartless jerk…..and I don’t give a damn about your feelings?

WIFE: Yes

HUSBAND: Piece of cake….next question please…..try something more difficult

WIFE: You see, I’m not that bright…..you’re much more wise, mature and experienced than me

HUSBAND: Umm…..right

WIFE: What do you mean “Umm…right?”….you were supposed to say;….. “No, darling….you’re incredibly smart”

HUSBAND: Honey, I’ve made a decision…..I won’t ever argue with you again

WIFE: You made a decision huh?…..on your own…..without asking me first?…..does my opinion mean nothing to you?

HUSBAND: Nancy; when I woke up last night you weren’t there…..where were you honey?

WIFE: I was at home…..now where the heck did you wake up last night…..darling?

WIFE: I need your cuddles

HUSBAND: I need your kisses

WIFE: I need you

HUSBAND: I need yo booty

WIFE: We can’t be cute for one minute

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