….he was a good friend of mine….I never understood a single word he said but I helped him drink his wine….he always had some mighty fine wine….joy to the world….all the boys and girls…joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea….and joy to you and me…..morning…..moving right along…..
GODS…..And the last time I checked….people around the world were worshiping around 35,000 of them…..so much for the “One True God” theory…..and over the course of history….civilizations have found some truly exciting ways to pay homage…..take the Incas, Mayans and the Aztecs….sacrificing people for the Gods was no problem….lay a person on the altar table….rip out their heart…hold it up to the sky and say;…. There you go dude….what, you need 20 more?….no problem”…..and wars were fought in the name of religion for many centuries….the Catholics and Protestants….still don’t like each other….France and England proved that….and there are still many groups and sects popping up till this day….but my favorite Gods came from the Greek…..and boy were there a bunch of them….and everyone had a job to do….you’re pissed off at your husband….talk to Alastor….to settle your family feuds….Apollo….handled the sun, music, healing and I guess….goat herding…..if you died and were going to hell..…Charon would give you a ride to the god Hades hotel…..for a small fee….Dionysus was my favorite….he was in charge of wine, parties, madness, chaos, drunkenness, ecstasy and pleasure….along with Eros….who made sure love, procreation and your sexual desires were taken care of….Aphrodite took care of women’s beauty, love, desire and pleasure….you wanted to go to sleep…..Hypnos took care of that….and Morpheus helped you dream…..Plutus made sure you had some cash in your bank account….Priapus was the favorite of the many….he was best known for having an enormous penis….Ares was a gangbanger….because he was into war, bloodshed and violence and didn’t give a damn about much of anything….Athena was no joke either….she handled reason, wisdom, intelligence, skill, peace, warfare and battle strategy…..this chick was serious….Hera dealt with marriage, women, childbirth, heirs, kings and empires….and she was the wife “AND” sister of……Zeus….and he was the Vito Corleone of the Olympic gods…..he ran shit up there on Mt. Olympus….and if you acted stupid….he would zap you in the ass with a lightning bolt..…yeah, Greece had the coolest Gods.
A GERMAN PRINCE IS SUING HIS UNGRATEFUL SON FOR SELLING THEIR ANCESTRAL CASTLE FOR €1…..I wish I’d known about that..…because Nicole and I would’ve jumped on that deal in a heartbeat…..that would’ve been so cool…..if she gets on my nerves….I could banish her butt to the tower in the east wing…..don’t tell her I said that ok?….as for the bedrooms and the halls and other stuff….screw that….I want to see the kitchen.
VENEZUELAN WOMEN LOSE ACCESS TO CONTRACEPTION AND CONTROL OF THEIR LIVES…..Venezuela is coming up on its eight year of an economic crisis….and millions of women are no longer able to find or afford birth control….and this is pushing many women into unplanned pregnancies at a time when they can barely feed the children they already have……around the capital city….Caracas….a pack of condoms cost $4.40….three times Venezuela’s monthly minimum wage of…..$1.50….birth control costs more than twice as much….$11 dollars a month….an IUD can cost more than $40 dollars….that’s more than 25 times the minimum wage…..and that doesn’t include the doctor’s fee to insert one.
NASA REVEALS VIDEO OF PERSEVERANCE LANDING ON MARS…..And the photos looks like it landed on top of a bran muffin…..so, what is this….number four?….I’ve seriously lost count….take the hint….Mars is not the one….you talk about one of the other Tonka trucks possibly finding some idea called water…..would you even drink it?….there’s nothing on that rock….quit…..what we call humans on earth…..are probably descendants from the ones who messed that rock up….and moved here for something better….and look how well we’re handling that idea….you need to trying sending one in another direction…..hang a left…..the Milky Way….now that’s a good start…..if we can send a hellfire missile into a foreign country….via Colorado…..send some rockets in another direction out into space and learn something new…..NASA….you always talk about you’ve found a planet which could be habitable….send a Tonka truck that way…..it’s starting to become a parking lot up..…or over there.