……If I have a rolled-up newspaper in my hand….that’s the least of my worries…..but basically speaking….spiders aren’t dangerous…..right, tell that to my mother…..anyway,….there are over 45,000 different species of spiders worldwide…..and only around 30…..can inflict a serious bite…..so any random spider you see….you can say with 99.9 per cent confidence…..that it’s not dangerous….and that’s why….I thank my rolled-up newspaper for helping me decide…..which ones are dangerous…..and which ones are not…..the last recorded dangerous spider bite in Australia was in 2018……before that….it was in 1970…..have you seen the spiders down under?…..and in the United Kingdom…..only 12 of the 605 native species…..have fangs that can pierce the skin…..and just in case you might want to know……hordes of tarantulas are about to swam the U.S.
BRITISH TECH ENTERPRENEUR MIKE LYNCH MISSING AFTER HIS YACHT SINKS…..He and a group of 22 people were sailing when they got caught up in a violent storm off the coast of Palermo, Sicily…..15 people were pull out of the water…..while 6 remain missing….here’s the funny part of the mystery…..he was the former chief executive of a software company called….Autonomy…..which was sold the Hewlett Packard in 2011 for $11 billion….now the sale led to allegations…..that he defrauded Hewlett by fraudulently inflating Autonomy’s revenue before the sale….he faced decades in prison…..but was ultimately acquitted this past June of the fraud and conspiracy charges….Sicily’s civil protection agency told reporters that the boat was struck by a waterspout while they slept…..and the vessel overturned….also missing is….Jonathan Bloomer…..chairman of Morgan Stanley International….and Clifford Chance a lawyer and Chris Morvillo…..an investigation is now being undertaken to determine the “exact cause” of the sudden storm that led to the sinking of the yacht….this tragedy sent tremors through the international community….Lynch was known to many as “Britain’s Bill Gates”….and Lynch’s ex-colleague and co-defendant in the U.S. fraud trial Stephen Chamberlian….the financial vice president of Autonomy…..was critically injured by a car….that crashed into him while he was out for a jog on Saturday……two days before the “tornado/waterspout” sunk the yacht Lynch was on….uh, ok….but…..the fraud thing…..people do hold grudges…..just sayin!.
DONALD TRUMP USES FAKE AI IMAGE OF TAYLOR SWIFT TO TRY AND WIN SUPPORT….This idiot is such a “Ketchup-head.”…..face it “STUPID”…..Madam President is sailing…..you’re failing…..and all of your far-right REICH-publican’s…..are bailing….you’re going down dude…..and to prison soon…..and I would send a donation to the Taylor Swift….. “I’m going to sue the hell out of Donald Trump for using my image without permission” fund…..not that she would need it…..she would keep his but tied up in the courts to the point….where he would be begging for coins…..outside a Burger King to pay his legal fees.
GERMANY’S DICTIONARY IS ADDING 3,000 NEW WORDS, INCLUDING “ChatGPT”…..Oh good grief……give me a break…..just what the entire world needs…..do you know what’s better than learning the German language?…..having your boss say…..you’ll be part of Trump’s new secret service team…..or being part of a Florida road crew….tarring a five-lane highway….barefoot, buck-naked, drunk as hell….while the temperature soars to a blazing….9,000 degrees at 10 in the morning…..the language is hard as heck to learn….think I’m kidding?…….“Rindfleischetikettierungsueberwachungsaufgabenuebertragungsgestz.”…..yeah, try pronouncing that one bud…..ok, Nicole just did…..but that doesn’t count.
DID YOU KNOW…..FROGS….can hold their pee for up to eight months……HAIR AND NAILS…..grow faster when you’re pregnant……..RUBBING SUGAR….on a cut will help the wound heal faster…….A MAN….can be arrested in Italy….just for wearing a woman’s skirt…….JAPAN….has 23 vending machines….for every person…….PEOPLE….who use their phones in the bathroom…often have superior intelligence…….HUMANS…..can’t fart….and inhale air at the same time………HUMANS…..are the only animals…..that blush……..THE LAST LETTER…..added to the alphabet was….J……..POTATO CHIPS….cause more weight gain….than any other food…….SQUEEZE YOUR NOSE…..and hum…..you can’t (tell the truth, you just tried it didn’t you?)…….NO WORD….in the English language…..rhymes with the word month…..moving right along……
DEAR AMERICA…..WAKE UP!…..your food is banned in 30 countries.
2024 DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION…..Mr. and Mrs. Obama…..speaking at the convention to the American people….. “STUPID”…..aka “Ketchup-head” is screwed…..he’s through…..and we still love and listen to the Obamas…..and Michelle’s speech…..she bitch-slapped the hell out of his ass…..(sorry for the language mom).