September 26, 2024

IA ORANA FRIENDS…..(Hello in…..Tahitian)

I LOVE…..when things work out so much better…..than you could’ve planned it

DURING THE APOCALYPSE….the rich people will be safe in their bunkers….it’ll be someone’s job to drop live rattlesnakes down their air vents….that’s where I come in

I’M SO SORRY…..my post about a guy….trying to destroy America….annoys you

YOU KNOW THAT THING….inside your head that keeps you….from saying stuff you probably shouldn’t?….yeah, mine’s broken

EVERYONE….needs a friend who they probably shouldn’t…..be allowed to sit next to….at a serious function

MEETING YOU WAS FATE….becoming your friend was a choice….falling in love with you….was beyond my control

HE DOESN’T NEED…..more Secret Service agents…..if “thoughts & prayers”…..are good enough for our children….it’s good enough for him

WHEN YOUR LOYALTY….to a felon….is greater than the love for your country…..you are the problem

GO AHEAD….and put up the Christmas tree…..nothing makes sense anyways

THE THINGS….you are hearing men say about Kamala Harris right now…..real men don’t talk that way about women

MY MOTHER…..raised me to be the most kind hearted person you’ll ever meet….but if you mess with me….I’ll show you…..why I have my father’s last name

DON’T BE SCARED BUT…..Halloween 2024…..is on Friday the 13th……for the first time….in 666 years

I THINK…..I was born irritated…..there’s no way…..people get on my nerves this much

I WILL NEVER….be over the hill…I am too damn tired to climb it

WHOEVER SAID…..staying at home saves you money….has clearly never heard of Amazon

EVEN AFTER ENLIGHTMENT….you still have to do the laundry

THANK GOODNESS….my book finally arrived….I almost started cleaning the house

IF WE CAN’T….drink and drive….why do bars have parking lots

IN THE BIBLE….God sent two bears….to murder 42 children…..because they had mocked a man for being bald

IF THE GROCERY STORE….has a section for “Health Food”…..then what is the rest of the store?

FOR MY OWN PEACE….I delete….I block…..I disown….I leave…..I ignore

HAVING A SOFT HEART….in a cruel world is courage….not weakness

AT MY AGE….rolling out of bed in the morning is the easy part…..getting off the floor however….is an entirely different story

ISN’T IT ODD…..that believers get possessed by demons…..yet atheists never do?

I DON’T KNOW…..the secret to happiness….but I have never been sad….drinking wine on a beach

I GET CALLED….a bitch quite often….what I don’t get called is a….pushover, stupid, sweetheart or a doormat….works for me

SHE WENT TO AFRICA….with Ernest Hemingway….and to India with Rudyard Kipling…..she traveled the world….while sitting in her little room….in a little village

IT’S CANDY CORN SEASON….for all you crayon eating psychopaths

THERE IS….one word that describes….people I don’t like….. “Irrelevant”

AND MY FAVORITE…..

THE CHILDLESS WOMEN…..have been mothering the world and elevating culture as…..aunties, godmothers, teachers….you do not need to push out a baby….to help push humanity forward

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