……We all know it takes one year for Earth to orbit the sun right?……and within that year you celebrate a birthday….and they say it takes 11.8 years for Jupiter to orbit the sun……now take into consideration how old you are now in Earth years…..and try and figure out how old you would be…..if you were born on Jupiter.
THE FAKE NEWS IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE……Please tell us something we don’t know……Trump is so stupid…..he stood in front of the press and said he was quoting an Irish proverb in honor of St. Patrick’ Day……the proverb was written by Nigerian poet Albashir Adam Alhassan…..and this ass even refused to shake German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s hand when they met at the White House……but yet he continues to say he respects women…..how disrespectful is this to another world leader?……she asked him should we shake hands…..he didn’t even bother to look at her…..she even gave a impassionate plea for refugees and he ignored her……during their press conference….Trump called America a company….instead of a country…..someone on Twitter wrote…. “Today we have a smart, level-headed and decisive leader in Washington, D.C. – too bad she has to go back to Germany”…….when the G20 session convenes in Hamburg in June……I really hope someone writes him a sick note so he can stay home…..because if he comes……this city is going to erupt!
ISIS SAYS THE U.S. IS BEING RUN BY AN IDIOT……I’m definitely not an ISIS fan…..but it’s not like they are wrong.
JOKER CHARGED WITH FELONY FOR CONCEALING HIS FACE IN PUBLIC…..Did you know Virginia has a mask law?…..because I didn’t……Winchester police arrested a man dressed as the Joker and hit him with a felony rap because he was concealing his face…..and he was also carrying a sword…..but they didn’t much care about that.….they were more focused on his face…..he’s being held in an Adult Detention Center on a $2,000 bond…..the law makes it illegal for anyone over 16 to wear a mask..…this was put forth decades ago to combat robbers and the Ku Klux Klan…..Detroit and New York also have the same law.
MAN NAMED “GRABHER” IS APPALLED HE CAN’T HAVE A “GRABHER” LICENSE PLATE……This fool’s biscuit ain’t done if he can’t understand why that’s a bad idea.
“THE EU WILL NOT SURVIVE”……. The European Union was a bad idea from the git go…..that idea should be in a category called…. “REALLY?”…….that’s like inviting a vegetarian for dinner at a steakhouse……like inviting the KKK to a Black Panther Party BBQ……like tossing the car keys to a two-year-old and telling the kid to drive because you’re too drunk…..why would you bring a bunch…..sorry,…..try to bring a bunch of countries who for centuries…..hated each other….you can change the future….but you sure as hell can’t change the past…..they fought each other…..fought together against another country……and then fought each other again…..people don’t forget that stuff…..and it‘s passed on from generation to generation….. remember a few decades ago……when there was an area called Yugoslavia?…..Tito was holding that country together….but as soon as he died…..I don’t know the reason why…..but they went bat-shit crazy against each other…..I had friends over there who were friends….but when that conflict started…..they hated each other…..since the EU started…..Spain is broke…..Italy is close to being broke…..and Greece is trying to get a Euro from whomever they can….because they’re broke……bad idea….so split up…….go back to your original money currencies….and go it alone…..I loved having a lot of Deutschmarks in my pocket when I would visit Italy…..because that was the only time I could walk around with a billion bucks in my pocket……maybe England splitting isn’t such a bad idea…..a politician in Sweden said recently that his country is thinking about splitting from the EU.
INTERNATIONAL CHURCH OF CANNABIS PREPARES FOR OPENING DAY……And the first meeting will take place on April 20th…..the congregation calls themselves….”Elevationists”…..I don’t know if it’s because Denver is call The Mile “High” City…..or because they plan to smoke a lot of blunt during the services….the church’s purpose is to serve as a home to adults everywhere who are looking to create the best version of themselves by way of the sacred plant….the church program will also include guest speakers, comedians, artists, musicians and film screenings….and no weed will be sold at the church……so I guess you have to…B.Y.O.B…..and the guys running the church said….it doesn’t matter if you’re Jewish, Catholic, Muslim….or whatever religion you practice….we are all “Elevationists.”