November 29, 2024

HUMANS

…..Why in the hell are so many of them “STOOPID?”……I was on the subway…..a not really crowded one…..and this guy standing next to me kept bumping into while paying more attention to his phone…..than to what was happening…..so me being the nice person I am said…. “Excuse me, but could you please stop bumping into me?”…..nothing…..then he did it again and I said….. “Yo, you need to move a bit because I don’t like you bumping into me”……he looked at me and said…. “And?”…..that was it….all niceness went out the window…..I got dead up in his face and told him…… “Look (and said the word Kamala Harris didn’t say during the debate)…..if you bump me one more damn time….I will extinct your sorry ass”…..he moved.

WHY “FART WALKS“ AFTER MEALS ARE GOOD FOR YOU…..Fart walks?…..the experts say…..after pigging out….going on a fart walk is good for your health…..and that’s something we may want to keep in mind after a good meal…..because it gets your bowels moving…..which can reduce bloating and acid reflux….and may help prevent Type 2 diabetes…..walking after an hour of stuffing your face can help regulate blood sugar levels….prevent blood sugar spikes that can overtime lead to insulin resistance and diabetes…..going for a stroll around the neighborhood….doing some jumping jacks…..will help to blunt the post-meal spike in blood levels….eating whole foods high in fiber can help regulate your sugar levels….BUT….most foods can produce a lot of gas….making those “fart walks” even more crucial…..thanks for the tip….but I know a lot of people who…..when they have a belly filled after a good Turkey Day meal…..the last thing they’re thinking about is….going for a stroll around the ‘hood…..no….it’s heading towards the living room….stretching out….and if it happens….blasting out your butt….the first sixteen bars of….. Beethoven’s 5th…..while stretched out on the sofa.

GERMANY: 288,000 FOREIGN WORKERS NEEDED ANNUALLY UNTIL 2040….That makes no sense…..the past months all over the news was….corporations laying off workers….so why would the country need more workers….when you’ll have plenty out of work people who could possibly fill those positions?

THIS IS GREAT…..When homosexuality was classified as an illness in Sweden…..Swedes protested by calling in sick to work ….claiming they felt gay.

AUSTRALIA PASSES LANDMARK SOCIAL MEDIA BAN FOR CHILDREN UNDER 16….Good idea….but they’ll find a way around that….the ban is aimed to address the impact of excessive social media use…..on children’s physical and mental health….while targeting social media platforms like….X, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat and Reddit…..but not YouTube….wow….I guess the only thing left for them to do is…..read a book….and those platforms have one year to figure out how to implement the age limit….and if they can’t and young kids still use them…..they’ll be liable for a fine up to 50 million Australian dollars….about 33 million US bucks…..supporters of the ban have cited the effect of harmful depictions of body image on girls….and the effect of misogynistic content on boys….its passage comes after a series of teenagers who died by suicide….over what their families  said was online bullying…..the basis for this is that there is a feeling amongst the majority of Australians…..that social media does more harm than good…..a poll taken recently showed 77% of Australians support the ban.

15 ACTIVE VOLCANOES TO VISIT IN AMERICA FOR AN UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE…..Why on earth would I want to visit an active volcano?…..if that thing starts to burp while your visiting…..trust me, you will have one….unforgettable experience…..if you live to tell it…..but if you’re the daredevil type…..or a complete idiot….try stopping by….Crater Lake, Oregon…..Glacier Park, Washington…..Kilauea, Hawaii…..Lassen Volcanic National Park, California…..Long Valley Caldera, California…..Mauna Loa, Hawaii…..Mount Baker, Washington…..Mount Hood, Oregon…..Mount Rainier, Washington,……Mount Saint Helens, Washington…..Mount Shasta, California……Mount Spurr, Alaska…..Newberry National Volcanic Monument, Oregon…..Redoubt Volcano, Alaska…..Three Sisters, Oregon…..ok folks….all of those volcanoes are connected to “The Ring of Fire”…..don’t know what that is….look it up…..as for volcanoes….many of you may remember when Mt. St. Helens threw-up and it was not a pretty picture…..I was flying back for NYC to California…..and the flight had to change it’s flight plan…..because the volcano’s ash…..was hovering over Chicago….look where St. Helen’s is and where Chicago is…..yeah, that was a very big burp…..and it’s still active and expected to erupt again in the near future…..so, go ahead and enjoy your unforgettable experience….and if you’re there when one of them erupts….don’t be surprised when you wake up…..somewhere in a Mongolian desert.

THE WIZARD OF OZ…..All these years we understood the story wrong…..Dorothy got pimped by the Good Witch…..the Wicked Witch of the Eastside….was the gang leader of the Munchkins…..and when Dorothy’s crib crashed down on her head….the Munchkin’s were so happy….they yanked her ruby Nike’s off their dead leader’s feet…..and gave them to Dorothy…..now out of nowhere…..the Good Witch shows up and see a great opportunity to take control of the Eastside….since Dorothy is confused ass hell…..and doesn’t know what’s going on…..the Good Witch jumps at the chance to take control of all the hoods…..so she tells Dorothy….. “The only way you’re going to get back to wherever you dropped in from….is to follow that yellow road over there….and walk to the Emerald City and ask this dude named Oz to help ya”……Dorothy was like “Cool”…..while she’s on here journey she meets a Crackhead with no brain…..a guy with no feelings…..and another one who doesn’t know whether he wants to come out of the closet or not….and they all become friends….not really knowing where they’re going….since no one had Google Maps….all of a sudden they ran into the Wicked Witch of the Westside…..and her flying monkey boyz…..and just by luck Dorothy offed her…..and the monkey boyz…..were happy….so the trio makes it to The Emerald City….oust the guy hiding behind a curtain and trying to be all scary stuff…..and gets him to leave town…..while the Good Witch sat back and watched Dorothy kill another gangbanger and make Oz pack up and leave town….and now the Good Witch has control of all the territories and can run things the way she wants to…..with all that said and done it was only then she told Dorothy she could’ve gone back to her crib a long time ago…..Dorothy was like…. “Wait, what?”…..the Good Witch told her…. “Yeah, all you had to do was click those Ruby Nike’s heels three time and you’re outta here”…..Dorothy looked at her and probably thought….. “Bitch, you had me go through all that unnecessary bullshit and it didn’t cross your mind to tell me that earlier?…….I should slap the living…..”……the Good Witch smiled and sent her packing and back to Kansas…..after having her do all her dirty work by murdering two of her rival gangbangers and forcing one to pack it up and jet.

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