…. “SEE YA”…..just kidding!
RARE KISSING OCTOPUS…..Ok, I admit it….I’ve drank a few women beautiful but I’ve never been “THAT” drunk.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH TEXAS………Hell if I know!
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HUMANS MEET ALIEN INTELLIGENCE? SEX HAPPENS…..Well, like I said before….I’ve drank a few women beautiful…..so…..I mean…..hey!
GEORGE BUSH HAS PAINTED OVER 50 PUPPIES-TEACHER SAYS HE’LL GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE GREATEST ARTIST….I don’t know about that but if you see 50 multi-colored puppies running around, I wouldn’t pet them because they are probably really pissed off.
DRAFT IS THE BEST WORD PROCESSOR YOU CAN WRITE WITH TODAY…..Yeah, and draft from a bartender can make English a second language.
USELESS INFORMATION:…..There are 170,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ways to play the ten opening moves in a game of chess.
HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF RAT-SIZED, HOUSE-EATING SNAILS INVADE FLORIDA…..So what’s next…..Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?
OHIO POLICE CHIEF EATS DAUGHTERS WEED-CAKE-GOES INSANE….And all I can think of are song lyrics….Cypress Hill…Insane in the membrane….AC/DC….Highway to Hell…Sun Ra…Space is the place…..Buddy Miles…My mind is going through these changes….you think he’ll remember to arrest her?
MEXICO IS GETTING BETTER AND FEWER MEXICANS WANT TO LEAVE….Well I guess people in California are going to have to learn how to mow their own lawns, clean their own house and take care of their own damn kids.
JANET JACKSON CONVERTS TO ISLAM – LEAVES THE MUSIC INDUSTRY – MOVES TO QATAR….And I’m willing to bet the ranch that there is one back wood idiot thinking….. “See, I told you she was un-American cause she done moved over there with them terrorist and taken up their religion”….any bets?
CANADA STARTS THE DAY WITH HOLY CRAP…..What’s that…..Pope Poop?
GUNS IN BARS: BILL PASSES SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE….Now that’s a real good dumbass idea.
VICE-LIKE GRIP ON TESTICLES PROVES FATAL….Really?
MAYORAL CANDIDATE ADMITS TO PAST LIFE AS A PROSTITUTE….Well she’ll be in the right profession now.
CHINESE HUSBAND SUES WIFE FOR BEING UGLY-WINS $120,000…..I sat for 5 minutes trying to think of something to say.
BORDER AGENT PUTS HIS WIFE ON TERROR LIST….I guess divorce wasn’t an option.
WOMAN KILLS FIVE PEOPLE FOR NOT ACCEPTING HER FACEBOOK FRIENDS REQUEST…..I don’t know about you but I’m going to really check everyone who sends me one.
A FEMALE U.S. SALIOR ON THE TOWN IN DUBAI THWARTED AN ATTEMPTED RAPIST WITH A LEG STRANGLE HOLD……She should’ve broke his damn neck.
DID K. MICHELLE HAVE A RIGHT TO BE MAD AT ARIANN FOR HAVING SEX WITH HER EX….Hey lady….what part of “EX” you don’t understand?…..the “E” or the “X”?
BAD TEACHER IN KOREA HITS MISBEHAVING STUDENT AND THEN MASTURBATES IN FRONT OF CLASS…..What happened to just sending them to the Principal’s Office?
ENTER FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A TRIP TO NYC AND A $1,000 SHOPPING SPREE…..Well what do you do if you already live in NYC?….$1,000 in NYC…..at least that takes care of the parking.
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE FROM NOVA SCOTIA TURNS UP IN CROATIA…..Now my question is…..how did this person fit The Police CD in the bottle?
STUDY FINDS FISH SNOT IS FASHIONABLE….Did anyone know fish had snot??
STATISTICS SHOW THAT TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS OFF SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE 25…..And to think someone actually gave this person a job as a reporter.
300 GALLONS OF PEE FOUND IN MAN’S HOUSE…..Now “THATS” a lot of beer.
MAN DIES AFTER FALLING INTO MEAT BLENDER….Ah…..DOH!