IMAGINE IF A WOMAN…..had to orgasm in order to get pregnant by a man…..there would be like 11 people in the world
HOW DO PEOPLE….go to sleep as soon as they close their eyes?…..it takes me 3 hours…11 pillow flips….7 different positions….2 trips to the bathroom….and a partridge in a pear tree
I DON’T CARE…if it’s 3 AM…..it’s not tomorrow until I wake up
WHOEVER THOUGHT….a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun size”……should really evaluate their entertainment standards
IF YOU THINK….you’ve made poor life decisions….there is a woman who not only married Stephen Miller….but left him for Elon Musk
I AM NOT LIKE THE OTHERS….that’s where you make your first mistake
ANYTIME YOU SEE…..the word “Inflation” in the news…..replace it with “Record breaking corporate profits”….and you’ll be a lot closer to the truth
IF SOCIAL MEDIA….disappeared for a year….90% of people wouldn’t know what to do with their hands….or their opinions
U.S. MARINES HAVE SERVED HONORABLY……across multiple wars in defense of democracy…..they are heroes….they shouldn’t be deployed om American soil….facing their own countrymen…..to fulfill the deranged fantasy….of a dictatorial president….this is un-American
I’M OFFICALLY AT THE AGE….and stage where I ain’t explaining shit….figure it out….blame me….believe what you heard….and go to hell
I WANT TO LIKE HUMANS…but they’re just so fucking stupid
I BE LIKE…. “OMG, I have so much to do”…..and then lay down
WE LIVE IN AN INSANE WORLD….in which adults with imaginary friends…..think adults without imaginary friends…..are the insane ones
KNOWING….how to cook an omelet…..wipe your own ass, and roll a decent joint…..these are the basic life skills…..every self-respecting adult should master….(Anthony Bourdain)
YOU KNOW WHAT’S FUN?…..having 10 bucks in your pocket….looking at houses on a relator site worth over $10 million and thinking…. “Hmm, not sure about the kitchen”
I DO NOT WISH…..to live an uninspired life….I also do not wish to live a life not of my own making…..I do not want to spend my time seeking something because someone else….tells me that what I have is not good enough
I WON’T BE….remember as a woman who kept her mouth shut…..and I’m okay with that
AT NO POINT….have the good guys…..built concentration camps
EUROPEANS OUT-OF-OFFICE: “I’m away camping for the summer….email again in September*
AMERICANS OUT-OF-OFFICE: “ I have left the office for two hours to undergo surgery….but you can reach me on my cell anytime”
THE OLDER I GET……NO!
I KNOW I’M MAD…..when I start talking to myself about it
FLIES ARE LITERALLY….obsessed with flying into a room….and then pretend they can’t get out….grow up
8 BILLION SMILES…..and you’re is my favorite
YOUR BODY….doesn’t just reject food…..it also rejects energy….if your body starts rejecting certain places, people or things…..trust it and listen
AND MY FAVORITE…..
IN 2008….a Macedonian beekeeper took a legal claim against…..a wild bear that had stolen honey from his hives….the Bitola court found the bear responsible for the damage….and since it had no owner and was a protected species….the court ordered the state to pay about 140,000 denars ($3,500 US)….to compensate the beekeeper