HOMOSEXUALITY….is not a choice…..homophobia is

ABORTION….should only be permitted….in cases of rape….incest….and when a woman chooses it

I’M GOING…..to turn the universe off…..and then back on again….and see if that works

MOST PEOPLE…..who question the legitimacy…..of the vaccine….do not question the legitimacy….of a 2,000 year-old book….claiming I had a son who rose from the dead

NEXT TIME….dogs own people

SWEARING…..to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth….on a Bible….is one of life’s great ironies

THE COVID VACCINE….is part of a secret government plot…..to keep you alive….so they can use you to work productively…..and raise your children

I’M DEVELOPING….a new strain of anti-vaxxer….that is even more immune to reality

EVERYDAY….I meet more and more…..unvaccinated people

AT THIS POINT….the idea that I would “Bless America”….is so absurd….it’s funny

OUT OF CURIOSITY…..where were you all thinking about moving……after you’re done destroying the earth?….because I assume you’re thought that through

I APPLIED TO BE A GOD IN INDIA…..but apparently they’re overstaffed

THERE IS NO VACCINE AGAINST STUPID…..and if there were…..stupid wouldn’t take it

WILL THE OWNERS….of the blue planet between Venus and Mars…..please attend to your vehicle…..it’s overheating

IF YOU THINK….I’m pro-life….you’ve never read the Old Testament

AND MY FAVORITE…..

I CANNOT…..believe….what people can believe