MESSAGE FOR NASA…..It’s not flat……we checked
THE NEXT TIME……someone tells you they got rich…..through hard work…..just ask them….. “Whose?”
THE MAN WHO INVENTED THE FERRIS WHEEL…..never met the man who invented the merry-go-round…..they traveled in different circles
IT’S BEEN TAUGHT…..that your worst enemy couldn’t harm you…..as much as your own wicked thoughts
YOU KNOW…..the very powerful and the very stupid…..have one thing in common…..they don’t alter their views to fit the facts…..they alter the facts to fit their view
LIFE BEGINS…..the moment you realize that…..you don’t have to prove shit……to anyone
SHOUT OUT…..to all my fellow procrastinators…..who are scrolling through Facebook right now……instead of doing whatever productive thing……you should be doing right now….we should start a club…..but not right now…..maybe later
IT’S TOUGH…..being the breadwinner…..for my landlord’s family
THE BIGGEST JOKE ON MANKIND…….is that computers have started asking humans……to prove that they are not robots
GETTING CALLED A LIAR…..when you’re telling the truth….is the most frustrating thing in the world
MY MOUTH WATERS…..when I smell steak…..I wonder if the same happens…..to vegans when they mow the lawn
WHY DO THEY…..keep installing roundabouts…..most people can’t even drive…..in a straight line
I DO A THING CALLED…..what I want
YOU THINK YOU KNOW STRESS…..when I grew up….if you missed a TV show…..you missed it forever
IT DOESN’T…..take a lot of strength….to hang on…..it takes a lot of strength……to let go
I WONDER…..how these Conservatives…..would feel if we passed a law…..making it illegal to teach your kids……about religion until they were adults?
YOU KNOW WHY…..European people don’t mind paying taxes and Americans hate it so much?….it’s not about independence or whatever bullshit you’ve heard…..it’s simply that they take taxes…..and make their citizens lives better…..our government gives all our taxes to the military…..and leave us to die
AND MY FAVORITE……
A WIFE BEING ROMANTIC……(sent her husband a text)….If you are sleeping….send me your dreams….if you are laughing…..send me your smile…..if you are eating…..send me a bite…..if you are drinking….send me a sip…..if you are crying…..send me your tears….I love you.
THE HUSBAND…..(typically non-romantic)…..I’m on the toilet…..please advise!