YOU WILL NEVER…..find me where you left me…..I refuse to standstill…..when growth is always an option
DEAR PLEXIGLASS…..thank you for protecting me from the cashier……who just touched every single item…..I’ll be taking home with me…..this period in history will be called…..The Dumb Ages
WHEN YOU ARE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND…..it doesn’t matter whose idea it was…..as long as your alibis match
WE HANG…..the petty thieves…..and appoint the great ones….to public office……Aesop
A WISE MAN ONCE SAID…..worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles…..it takes away today’s peace
IT TURNS OUT……the answer to my problems…..wasn’t at the bottom of this pint of ice cream…..but the important thing is…..that I tried
MICHELANGELO….. “Yeah of course I can paint your ceiling……gonna paint a bunch of dudes with they dicks out on it tho´
SOME DAYS…..I look back on my life……and I am extremely impressed…..I’m still alive
FRIEND:…..Oh, I love reading too…..do you have many favorite books?
OTHER FRIEND:…..yes…..1984
FRIEND:….wow, so many
NEVER AGAIN…..should anyone have to be amazed……at how Jim Jones…..got his followers to drink poison
HOW TO POLITELY TELL SOMEONE THEY ARE STUPID……wisdom has been chasing you….but you have always been faster
AS THE YEAR COMES TO AN END…..I urge you to take care of yourself…..and avoid accidents…..because spare parts for old models……like you are no longer in stock
AND MY FAVORITE…..
FOR THE PREMIERE OF PINOCCHIO IN 1940……Disney hires some little people to dress as Pinocchio……and wave at people…..they were left on the balcony of Rockefeller Center with enough food and beer to get them through the day…..but by late afternoon…..they were all naked……because their costumes were too hot…..they were drunk…..and screaming swear words at the crowd below
AND MY OTHER FAVORITE……
THE CHILDREN…..were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch……at the head of the table was a large pile of apples……the Nun made a note and post it on the apple tray….. “Take only one…..God is watching”…..moving further along the lunch line…..at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies…..a child had written a note saying….. “Take all you want…..God is watching the apples”
AND THIS ONE…..is for my cousin Ellen…..because I know how much she loves her grandchildren……
5 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MY GRANDMA
She is a crazy Grandma
She loves her grandkids to the moon and back
She can’t control her mouth
Sha has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people
Mess with her grandkids…..and they’ll never find your body…..(love ya Cuz!)
YOU WILL NEVER…..find me where you left me…..I refuse to standstill…..when growth is always an option
DEAR PLEXIGLASS…..thank you for protecting me from the cashier……who just touched every single item…..I’ll be taking home with me…..this period in history will be called…..The Dumb Ages
WHEN YOU ARE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND…..it doesn’t matter whose idea it was…..as long as your alibis match
WE HANG…..the petty thieves…..and appoint the great ones….to public office……Aesop
A WISE MAN ONCE SAID…..worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles…..it takes away today’s peace
IT TURNS OUT……the answer to my problems…..wasn’t at the bottom of this pint of ice cream…..but the important thing is…..that I tried
MICHELANGELO….. “Yeah of course I can paint your ceiling……gonna paint a bunch of dudes with they dicks out on it tho´
SOME DAYS…..I look back on my life……and I am extremely impressed…..I’m still alive
FRIEND:…..Oh, I love reading too…..do you have many favorite books?
OTHER FRIEND:…..yes…..1984
FRIEND:….wow, so many
NEVER AGAIN…..should anyone have to be amazed……at how Jim Jones…..got his followers to drink poison
HOW TO POLITELY TELL SOMEONE THEY ARE STUPID……wisdom has been chasing you….but you have always been faster
AS THE YEAR COMES TO AN END…..I urge you to take care of yourself…..and avoid accidents…..because spare parts for old models……like you are no longer in stock
AND MY FAVORITE…..
FOR THE PREMIERE OF PINOCCHIO IN 1940……Disney hires some little people to dress as Pinocchio……and wave at people…..they were left on the balcony of Rockefeller Center with enough food and beer to get them through the day…..but by late afternoon…..they were all naked……because their costumes were too hot…..they were drunk…..and screaming swear words at the crowd below
AND MY OTHER FAVORITE……
THE CHILDREN…..were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch……at the head of the table was a large pile of apples……the Nun made a note and post it on the apple tray….. “Take only one…..God is watching”…..moving further along the lunch line…..at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies…..a child had written a note saying….. “Take all you want…..God is watching the apples”
AND THIS ONE…..is for my cousin Ellen…..because I know how much she loves her grandchildren……
5 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MY GRANDMA
She is a crazy Grandma
She loves her grandkids to the moon and back
She can’t control her mouth
Sha has anger issues and a serious dislike for stupid people
Mess with her grandkids…..and they’ll never find your body…..(love ya Cuz!)