…..17th century rich people ate human corpses (they thought eating flesh and drinking blood could cure them from diseases)…..King Tut’s parents were brother and sister.….William of Orange’s uncle, King Charles II watched him consummate his marriage (and cheered him on)…..women used crocodile dung as a contraceptive (they would insert a little tablet right before having sex)……it was popular in France for royal women to give birth in front of a crowd (Marie Antoinette had so many people she was almost crushed to death)……President Lyndon B. Johnson once pulled out his penis during an interview…..in Assyria, unmarried women in the Cult of Aphrodite were required to have sex with a stranger for money-at least once (afterwards they were members of the club)…..in England suicide victims were buried at crossroads to keep them from haunting towns (they hoped the crossroads would confuse the restless soul and prevent them from coming home in spirit form)…..in the 1970’s a news reporter killed herself on live TV (her name was Christine Chubbuck and I remember that).….a guy wrote a book about a ship called the Titan crashing into an iceberg – fourteen years before the Titanic sank…..dentures used to be made from the teeth of dead soldiers…..sailors wore gold earrings so they’d be able to pay for a proper funeral.….the ancient Greeks used urine as a mouthwash…..Sultan Ibrahim I of the Ottoman Empire once drowned 280 of his concubines (because one of them slept with another man)…..the first recorded serial killer in history was a woman (her name was Locusta, she was Roman and she was very good at what she did – so good, the Emperor Nero pardoned her and asked her to help him get rid of a few people he didn’t like)…..the Romanians believed redheads with blue eyes were vampires (redheads were believed to be a special vampire called “Strigoi” who were able to send their spirits out at night to meet other “Strigoi”)
GENE WILDER…..And 2016 strikes again…I want to share some “Gene” with you… “If you’re not going to tell the truth – then why start talking?…..Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker (Willy Wonka)……What did you expect? Welcome Sonny? Make yourself at home? Marry my daughter? You’ve got to remember that these are simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know…..morons.”……thank you for coming Gene…..have a safe journey onward…..what’s strange is this….the majority of the articles I’ve read in regards to his passing…..most of them say Willy Wonka was his greatest film….are they serious?…..The Producers….Young Frankenstein (or Frankensteen)…..Silver Streak….Stir Crazy…See No Evil, Hear No Evil….The Woman in Red (not one of my favorites but he was good)…..and of course…..Blazing Saddles….did you know he also played a hostage in Bonnie & Clyde?
OVER 300 REINDEER KILLED BY LIGHTNING IN UNUSUAL NATURAL DISASTER….Wow….I wonder how the people in Norway are going to explain that one.….just like I’m wondering how ranchers in Texas are going to explain the 200 cattle who were also killed by a lightning strike…..and I’m really waiting for the police in New Zealand to explain to me.….how in the hell someone can steal 500 cows and no one notices it.
MEXICO THREATENS TO CANCEL TREATY THAT CEDED TEXAS AND CALIFORNIA TO US IF TRUMP GETS ELECTED…..Man if Mexico could pull this off….they would also get…..parts of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah and Wyoming…..Hey……I’m just relating what “THEY” call news……anyway,…..Mexican senator Armando Rios Piter…..is proposing his new bill would specifically cancel the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo…..which ended the Mexican-America War…..and they gave up all of that land…..Trump has threatened to axe the North American Free Trade Agreement…..and if he were to do that…..Piter’s bill would trigger a review and possible cancelation of all bilateral agreements between Mexico and the U.S…..and Mexico would retaliate if Trump were to specifically target Mexicans living in the U.S. in any way economically…..and all parties in the senate are in agreement that Mexico needs to stand up for itself.
THE WORLD’S MOST IDIOTIC MARATHON (TRUST THE FRENCH)…..Now this marathon I could do…..the Marathon du Medoc.….is a 26.2 mile run…..and refreshment are available during the race……oysters, cheese, entrecote…..foie gras……enough wine to fill a swimming pool, mussels and even ice cream…..and each year over 10,000 people show up…..it’s a six-and-a-half hour event…..you jog alongside the vineyards and chateaux of Bordeaux…..while sampling wines, listening to local bands…..and eat some of the best foods in the world….and a day before the race…..there are many pasta parties…..that’s the good part..…when you’re running in 40 degree heat…..fuelled by Chateau Lafite and cheese…..that’s the bad part…..and some people were nursing hangovers, suffering severe carbohydrate deficit and dealing with dehydration…..so if you want to run in this race…..and enjoy great food and wine…..and probably puke before you cross the finish line….checkout the website….Le Marathon Du Medoc to register for next year’s race.……the entry fee is $70 bucks per person…..man you can eat up that entry fee during the race.….and don’t worry…..there is plenty of medical staff stationed along the route…..and each year they have what they call a “Theme Race”…..so make sure you are dressed properly.
THESE ARE THE WORLD’S DEADLIEST ANIMALS…..Sharks…..(why I don’t jump in the ocean)…..Wolves….(why I don’t hike anymore)…..Lions….(no safari’s)……Elephants…..(way too big to mess with)…..Hippopotamuses…..(this animal is faster than you think)…..Tapeworm…(is that an animal?)……Crocodiles…..(give them plenty of space)….Ascaris roundworms..… (again..…is that an animal?)…..Tsetse flies….(now that’s a bug)……Assassin bugs… (see..…a bug, not animal)….Freshwater snails….. (if a friend of mine tells me he was attacked by a snail….I’m gonna look at him like he’s stupid)……Dogs…..(not all dogs)…..Snakes..….(can’t stand them)……Humans…..(definitely true).