…..Has to be the worst shit in the world to watch…..but one thing is for sure……it’s entertaining as hell……like take the opening set…..man they had a bunch of screaming female singers……dressed in outfits…..Nicole would slap me in the face..….if I thought one of them..….would make a great Valentine Day’s gift……and then they introduced the countries entertainers for the night……dressed even worse..….than the screamers I just watched…..I liked the Romanian signers outfit though……..he looked like a misplaced matador from Spain…..ok, now they’re introducing everyone…..I need a beer..….and Nicole is upstairs preparing her next yoga lesson…..be right back…..damn, still being introduced……ok…..now..….damn forgot my beer…….ok, let’s go……three badly dress MC’s……acting like this is the first time they’ve done this job…..and they told me I’m going to have to sit through 25 country’s attempt to convince me…..they sent someone with talent…..wait…..I need to twist up one……..ok……

1^st country…..CZECH REPUBLIC…..very Jimmy Summerville type of cut…..and the lead singer…..she’s built like she could take out a MMA cage fighter……

2^nd country…..my ROMANIAN matador:……oh, he went total matador……and his  dancers……don’t call J-Lo……

3^rd country……PORTUGAL..…five women harmonizing together……kind a takes away the focus on the main voice……

4^th country……FINLAND……they sucked…..totally…..it’s hard to take a rock band seriously……when they’re on staged jumping around and dressed like a bunch of damn  bumblebees…..

5^th country…..SWITZERLAND……with the right writers, a good combo of musicians…..and a good producer…..I’d listen to his CD…..

6^th country……FRANCE…..listen to me…..stick to making wine and cheese please……

7^th country……NORWAY…….hey, if you wanna steal ideas at least be more creative……Justin Timberlake and …….the Daft Punk ideas are already taken……and I’ll throw in the Village People while I’m at it……and Spice Girls…….and Blue Man Group……

8^th country….ARMENIA……Armenian country western……nah dog,…..ain’t feelin’ it.….

9^th country…..ITALY…..Yo, next time give me a call….I have a brother.…..he’s in Munich right now……and trust me……you’re chances would’ve improved much better than  those two you picked…..

10^th country…..SPAIN…..well one thing is for sure…..her dancers blew her off the stage..….because they were…… “FINE!”…..

11^th country……NETHERLANDS…..if I ever needed a bathroom break…..and another beer..….that was it…..

12^th country……UKRAINE…..that shit was tight!……dude could rap…..and he was working the Jamiroquai lead singer look……the beat was nice…..word on the street is that they’re supposed to win……I hope it’s because they earned it..….

13^th country….GERMANY.….piece of advice kid…..whatever you do when it comes to your future……you make sure you own…..everything…..you have the talent to go forward.….nice!…..

14^th country…..LITHUANIA…..Edith Piaf did the French singing act thing much better……

15^th country……AZERBAIJAN……the same I said about Switzerland…….

16^th country……BELGIUM…..sent a black guy…..not bad for a racist country…..he’s marketable…..for a European market…..if they need a wanna be Usher……

17^th country……GREECE……I wasn’t sure if I liked her……or the harmony playback track……made me like her……

18^th country…….ICELAND……I heard they have a good music scene up there…..I hope it’s better than what I just watched……

19^th country……MOLDOVA…… YEEEEEEEHAAAAAA!……oh hell no!……

20^th country……SWEDEN……putting together a child’s bedroom set I bought from  IKEA…..would’ve been more entertaining……

21th country……AUSTRALIA…..yeah, I said the same thing…..a long way.….away from Europe.….anyway,.….he sounds exactly like the guy who sang that……go to church song.….or whatever…..cute outfit though…….

22^nd country……UNITED KINGDOM……just what the world needs……another Elton John screamer……with a touch of…..Ziggy Stardust…..

23^rd country……POLAND…..I couldn’t come up with anything to say..….anyway,…..

24^th country……SERBIA…..that shit was too…..self-flagellation for me……

25^th country……ESTONIA……he’s a Johnny Cash fan…..and was elected the sexist man..….no!……

that’s it….now, I need another beer…..because we have to wait and see how….. “EACH COUNTRY” votes……to see which country will win the honors of hosting the next Eurovision…..because their song won over all the other songs……and yeah, it’s gonna take a minute…..I’ll be right back…….after not watching a bunch of unknown Italian singers…..entertain those who were watching……I got the munchies……tomato mozzarella was a good idea..….burp….sorry……buuurrrpp!…..that was Nicole……anyway,…..after watching one Italian rock band..….and the woman who won the first Eurovision contest…..singing her wining song…..via playback…..the voting tally was finally in…….and the winner is…….over 40 countries are voting by the way…..don’t ask…..anyway,….back to who won….. Germany received 6 points……that was it…..no other country voted for them….the audience did…..Switzerland….78….Azerbaijan…..106……and……Ukraine won…..and they were good…..but I think it was a….. “We’re for Ukraine” thing…..because…6…..78 and 106…..are worth taking a listen to……the voting can be  bias…..if one country doesn’t like another one……they’ll give their votes to another country….so the one they don’t like…..chances of winning are harder…..whatever……the tradition is…..the winning country has to host the next Eurovision Contest……I hope Ukraine has a country…..they can host it in.