DUE TO RECENT BUDGET CUTS…..the light at the end of the tunnel…..has been turned off
WE TAKE PHOTOS…..as a return ticket.….to a moment otherwise gone
A NOTE FOUND INSIDE A DONATED BOOK….. “Hi!…..I don’t think we’ve met..….but based on your choice of literature…..I think we would make great friends”
ONE REASON WE TAUGHT HISTORY…..was to explain to students…..that those who stole classified documents….were called spies
YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE…..every disaster movie begins with a scientist being ignored
A WOMAN’S T-SHIRT…..Man created GOD in his image…..intolerant, sexist, homophobic….and violent
PRIEST: Do you read to your kids from the Good Book?
ME: Every night
PRIEST: What’s their favorite part?
ME. When Frodo destroys the ring
WHITE PEOPLE…..complaining they cast a Black girl as Ariel…..Disney created 49 films from 1937-2009…..before delivering their first Black princess with Tiana…..Black girls watches an entire catalog…..NEVER seeing themselves…..for 70 years……you spoiled..….you racist brats
SO AFTER…..all the Africans y’all threw in the ocean..….y’all surprised a mermaid is Black?
DEAR WORLD…..putting baby changing stations in the women’s washroom..….and maybe in the family washroom if there is one……but not the men’s washroom…..sends a very clear message…..about whose responsibility you think raising children is……and frankly, I hate it..….Signed…..A Dad!
THE PURSUIT TO RECAPTURE…..your past is a waste of time…..the past lives in the past and is therefore non-existent…..in the present.….time travel has been invented
A MAJOR PART…..of adulting is knowing..….when to take yo ass to bed
I WISH..….my bank account filled up…..as fast as my laundry basket
USING FOX NEWS..….to support your arguments…..is like saying you’re a marine biologist…….because you watch Sponge Bob Squarepants
AN OLD LADY…..with a cane was walking past a young man at the bus stop singing….. “21 today – 21 today”……the young man says,….. “You are not 21, you crazy old cow”…..she turns to him and with a mighty swing…..cracks him over his head with her cane……and walks away singing….. “22 today – 22 today!”
HE: Will you be my girlfriend?
SHE: Sodium Hydride Hypobromite
HE: What?
SHE: Nah BrO
AND MY FAVORITE…..
SOMETIME IN THE LATE 40’s…..before either man was famous…..Frank Sinatra appeared in a theater in New York…..after his show he went to Harlem to see the Will Maston Trio……led by a young Sammy Davis Jr……Frank was blown away by Sammy’s talent and after the show…..he asked Sammy to come see his show…..a week goes by…..no Sammy…..Sinatra went back to see the Will Maston Trio again and asked Sammy why he didn’t come to see his show…..Sammy said he was there…..but they wouldn’t let him in…..Frank stormed back to the theatre…..tore up his contract in front of them…..and never performed there again……that would be a common theme during the course of their friendship and careers…..when Sammy wasn’t allowed to play at the Copacabana…..Frank wouldn’t play their either…..when Sammy was refused a Las Vegas hotel room Frank said;….. “Give him my room!”…..After Sammy’s car accident where he lost his eye…..it was Sinatra who paid all his medical bills……after 5 decades and 40 years of performing together…..a reporter once asked Frank why he was always so charitable to Sammy……Frank responded with three words….. “He’s, my brother!”