….My kind of place……because I am not a morning person…..I am evil…..I am mean…..you say good morning and I will tell you to kiss something…..do not speak to me until 12 noon.….and this place in Cardiff, Wales has the perfect name….. “GRUMPY FUCKER’S COFFEE SHOP”…..and it’s for people who hate mornings…..like me…..the manager Clive GrimGrits said….. “I hate getting up at 5am to get the bastard shop open…..we open the shop at 6am and by 7am we’d already sold out of “Fuck Frappuccinos” as well as “Piss Poor Tea”…..every person who came in had a face on them like a slapped ass so we closed at 8am so I could go back home and get some proper sleep like most people do”……one customer said….. “It was perfect for me. I could sit there, thinking how shit my life is and how I hated going to work. The guy sitting next to me was asking whether they cooked breakfasts and the manager told him to fuck off and get a life. Everyone was grumpy, which was fine because we were all grumpy together”…..yep…..my kind of place…..and they even sell coffee mugs, T-shirts and sweatshirts!
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER 99-MILLION-YEAR-OLD SPIDER AND HIS PRESERVED ERECTION…..Come on people…tell the truth….you really wanted to know that!
ANTS DON’T GET ALZHEIMER’S….Come on people….tell the truth….you really wanted to know that too!
WHAT NOT TO POST ON FACEBOOK IN EACH OF THE 50 STATES…..And most of them agreed to this…..selfies….political rants….food pictures….personal problems….and baby photos.
WOMEN IN INDIA ARE NOW LEGALLY ALLOWED TO BE HEAD OF THEIR HOUSEHOLDS…..Well it’s about damn time…..lawyers said..… “Excluding women from the role violates their fundamental right of equality guaranteed by the Constitution”…..and the Delhi court agreed…..so now the eldest female member of a family can now act as the legal head of the household..…which is also known as “Karta”…..a Karta is in charge of all matters regarding family inheritance, property management and decisions…..a case came to light when a daughter of a family wanted to take over the family business after her brothers, fathers and uncles passed away…..and her nephew claimed to be the rightful lKatrta.….normally that role was restricted to the eldest male in the family…..because in 1956 Indian law stated that female family members did not possess the necessary qualification of co-partnership…..and they got rid of that B.S. in a 2005 amendment to the Hindu Succession Act.….the sad part is..…this ruling does not apply to all women…..the Delhi court ruling pertains only to Hindu Undivided Families…..because that’s India’s legal definition of an extended family living in the same household…..Hindu, Buddhist, Jain and Sikh people in India are allowed to form HUF units.….Indian Muslims who make up about 14 percent of the country’s population are excluded from this definition…..too bad the Caste system still exists.
MAURICE WHITE, FOUNDER OF EARTH, WIND & FIRE DIES AT 74…..It seems like February is picking up where January left off.….well folks…it’s time to blow the dust off your old LP’s and start bumping.….Shining Star…..Head to the Sky…..Boogie Wonderland…..September and a few other oldies……thanks for the hits Maurice!…..he said in an interview in 1985.…. “There are a lot of things wrong on this planet. It’s important to put the emphasis on the positive aspect. I have learned that music helps a lot of people survive and they want songs that can give them something – I guess you could call it hope.”
WOMAN CRASHES HER OWN FUNERAL, HORRIFYING HER HUSBAND, WHO HAD PAID TO HAVE HER KILLED…..My man freaked when she tapped him one the shoulder at her own funeral…..Noela Rukundo’s husband had ordered a team of hit men to kill his wife…..they flew to Burundi to attend her stepmother’s funeral.….while she was resting in their hotel room…..her husband called and told her to go outside for some fresh air…..that’s when a man charged her with a gun in his hand…..she was blindfolded, thrown into a car and taken on a 40 minute trip…..then they took her inside of a building and tied her to a chair..…they asked her “what did you do for this man to pay us to kill you?”….she was like “What?”….they called her husband…..put him on speakerphone and she heard him say “Kill her”…..they weren’t going to kill her anyway because they didn’t believe in killing women and they knew her brother…..two days later they let her go and gave her a phone with all the conversations they had with her husband Kalala…..and receipts of the $7,000 Australian dollars he paid them…..with the help of the Kenyan and Belgian Embassies she made her way back to Melbourne, Australia…..and her husband told everyone she died in a tragic accident.….and the entire community mourned her…..and he denied everything until she got him to confess during a phone conversation…..which the police recorded.….now he’s doing nine years in the joint and she’s catching hell from the Congolese community for turning her husband in.
CHILDREN WHO FEAR BEING SENT BACK TO A NOTORIOUS AUSTRALIAN IMMIGRANT DETENTION CENTER ARE TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE…..Wow..…a seven-year-old girl attempted suicide by cutting her face and chest with a razor…..children have jumped from building in attempts to kill themselves.….and a two-year-old plays with cockroaches because he has no other toys…..this report is coming for the Australian Human Rights Commission..…they say 34% of the hundreds of children they visited had severe to moderate mental illness…..compared to the 2% of children in the Australian community.
LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE NOW ELIGIBLE FOR DISABILITY…..Don’t get all happy…..because this is bull-crap….but we should be eligible for it…..due to the fact we have to adapt and adjust to a backwards world…..yeah, I said it…..you right-handed people are backwards…..this what we have to deal with….the ATM cash machines…..where do you stick your card in?…..on the right side…..doors open towards the right..…well most do.….dinnerware is designed for you…..when you drive your car (most of them anyway)…..you sit on the left side…..but you control everything else with your right hand..…except the blinker…..if you used your left-hand back in the day in school…..the teacher would whack you with a ruler…..until you started using your right hand.….hell, some cultures lit a fire under your butt because they thought you were evil…..and if you think the British did us a favor by driving on the left side of the road…..you’re wrong…..that’s a habit from the days jousting was popular…..because it was easier to attack your opponent from the right side.….so yeah, make it a law and give me some cash.…or better yet….let’s change the game and make it a left-handed world…..and see how well you adapt!
NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE: SUPER BOWL 50……CAROLINA PANTHERS VS DENVER BRONCOS…..Before I get started….let me get this off my chest…..“LADY GAGA NAILED IT!” Basta!…..now, on to the game.….first of all I don’t trust the N.F.L. anymore.….way too many things have been swept under the rug…..domestic violence…..cheating….cheating and more cheating…..and lately Cam has pissed a lot of people off…..folks, there is a very big difference between.….arrogance and confidence…..and he’s the latter.….but for many…..he was starting to sound like one of them..UP-A-DEE you know what…..and it was pissing people off.….and while I was watching the game…..the word “FIX” entered my mind…because it wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened…..and just maybe the N.F.L. told him to throw the game..…or else!…..and it wouldn’t be the first time “Those in charge” wanted to put someone back in their place (Jack Johnson, Joe Louis, Mike Tyson, Jordan, Ali, Tiger Woods and Bill Cosby)…..I kept thinking…..how can a 17-1 team..…play like crap…..so I watched all the way up to halftime…..and then I took a short nap…..hey, it was 3:30 in the morning over here…..and I’m not going to waste my time watching Ms. over-rated Beyonce….or definitely over-rated Bruno.….and no question over-rated Coldplay…..and now people are complaining that her show was “Too Black”…..now when the 3rd quarter started……I realized it wasn’t a fix…..Denver’s defense was just kicking ass.….the Panther’s offensive line couldn’t stop them…..and Cam was confused.….also every play…..the Bronco’s would stampede the offensive line and it was working…..now let’s go to the press conference…..the only picture the press was showing was the one of Cam looking pissed…..they didn’t bother to show the one where he congratulates, hugs, smiles and wishes Manning all the best…..and who came up with the bright idea to hold a press conference with both opposing teams…..in the same room?…..yeah, that would’ve pissed me off too……and that was the entire focus after the game…..they make it sound like he’s the first one to storm out of the room….and Bill Romanowski..…you were one of the dirtiest players in the N.F.L.…..it’s obvious you don’t realized….calling a person of color “BOY” is not only offensive…..it’s racist…..so grow up you in-bred, redneck peckerwood.….oh, my bad….I’m sorry……using those words to describe a person of non-color is also considered offensive and racist…..so Cam…..maybe next year…..17-2 isn’t a bad year…..use the off season to reflect and come back stronger in the fall…..and I hate to say it…..but what Cam is criticized for doesn’t apply to white quarterbacks.….one more thing.….the Panther’s better give Linebacker Luke Kuechly whatever he wants the next time he negotiates his contract….he hit number 88 so hard.….the ball flew backwards 15-yards…..and if I were #88…..after all the stars and planets had re-aligned in my head…..I would’ve walked up to Manning, slapped him up side his head and told him….. “Don’t you ever call that play again..…you trying to get me killed or what?”….so in my closing argument…..I’ll say that was one of the worse and boring Super Bowl’s in a long time.