NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER…..is like watching porn…..on the radio
MY ALMA MATER…..was books…..a good library…..I could spend the rest of my life reading…..just satisfying my curiosity
ME: How much is the rent for this gorgeous apartment?
OWNER: Ah sir, this is a liquor store
TO-DO LIST……do a little dance……make a little love……get down tonight
HAPPINESS…..comes from within…..that’s why it feels good……to fart
WHEN ATHEIST KIDS TRY CHURCH…..
EIGHT-YEAR-OLD: Why is there a dead guy on a stick?
TEN-YEAR-OLD: They are going to drink his blood?……what the fuck?
SIX-YEAR-OLD: Why the fuck am I even here?
YOU CAN DO…..99 things for someone…..and all they remember…..is the one thing you didn’t do
I DON’T TRUST PEOPLE…..who don’t love themselves and tell me “I love you”……there is an African saying which is….. “Be careful when a naked person……offers you a shirt”
AT THE BAR LAST NIGHT…..a woman got her nipple pierced…..right in front of me…..on a related note…..I suck at darts
WHY IS IT THAT…..when climate change comes up…..the Republican politicians say….. “I’m not a scientists”……but when women’s health is being discussed……they’re all gynecologists?
CHRISTIAN NATIONALISM…..is just White Supremacy…..in Bible drag
I DON’T WANT TO ADULT ANYMORE….I don’t even want to be human……I want to goat……just eat all day…..and head butt anyone who annoys me
INTENTIONALLY KILLING CIVILIANS……is a war crime
HUSBAND: I went line dancing last night
WIFE: That was a roadside sobriety test you idiot
SOME OF US…..have been through so much bullshit in life…..that good shit…..feels like a set-up
DON’T DIE…..until you’re dead
IF IT REQUIRES…..fake smiling…..I probably won’t come
SON: Dad, what is an alcoholic?
DAD: Son, do you see those 4 cars?…..an alcoholic would see 8
SON: But dad there are only 2
ONE DAY…..someone will walk into your life…..and make you see why…..it never worked out with anyone else
ROE…..wasn’t the beginning of women having abortions…..Roe was the end…..of women dying from abortions
BAN VIAGRA….if pregnancy is “God’s will”…..so is impotence
WHAT FASCINATES ME…..is that hardly anyone is wondering what we’re actually doing on this planet…..most accepted the work-eat-entertainment-sleep cycle…..and have no desire……for a deeper understanding of our purpose in this universe
LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR…..feed the poor…..heal the sick……welcome the stranger…..there’s nothing Republican Christians hate more……than the teachings of Jesus
AND MY FAVORITE……
DID YOU KNOW……Scientifically……the Black woman is the only organism that possesses the mitochondrial DNA…..that has all the variations possible for all kinds of human beings……when the DNA of a Black woman mutates……all other types of human beings come about……that’s the “EVE Gene”……and is only found in Black women…..the mt-MRCA is the common ancestor of all mitochondrial haplogroups…..and is located at the divergence of the macro-haplogroup L…..if you want to learn more…….mrimhotep.org