WALTER SUMMERFORD…..because he has got to be one of the unluckiest person in history…..check this out…..my man was struck by lightning in 1918…..six years later.….he was zapped again in 1924……six year later…..he was zapped again in 1930…..so yeah, the next time you’re having a bad hair day…..and things aren’t going right……yo, dude died in 1932…..and in 1936….his grave was zapped by lightning again…..and he was dead…..and shit does happens…..so!
NFL FOOTBALL……WEEK 1…..NY GIANTS-TITANS…..I’m sorry I forgot about them yesterday…..thank goodness my dad didn’t notice it…..otherwise I’d be locked in the cellar with no food or sunlight…..and he doesn’t even have a cellar….anyway,…..not bad NY…..you held Henry in check…..and managed to eke out a one-point win…..due to the fact that the Titan’s field goal kicker’s foot was broke….and hit the ball wide left…..and Saquon Barkley….I’m telling ya again…..don’t sign that franchise contract.
KIDS ANSWERS TO A CLASSROOM TEST……
TO CHANGE CENTIMETERS TO METERS YOU…….?
(Take out Centi)
WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST SOLUTION TO OVERPOPULATION? SUPPORT YOUR ARGUMENT WITH EXAMPLES.
(The Hunger Games)
WHAT DO WE CALL THE SCIENCE OF CLASSIFING LIVING THINGS?
(Racism)
FIND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 8 AND 6
(Eight is curly and six is not)
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HUE?
(Jackman)
IMAGINE THAT YOU LIVE AT THE SAME TIME AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO HIM OR ASK HIM?
(I’d tell him not to go to a play – ever!)
NAME A SOLID – (Poop)
NAME A LIQUID – (Pee)
NAME A GAS – (Fart)
WHERE WAS THE AMERICAN DECLARATION of INDEPENDENCE SIGNED?
(At the bottom)
WHY ARE THERE RINGS ON SATURN?
(Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it)……Teacher: Saturn was not a single lady!
RUSSIAN ENERGY EXECUTIVE DIES AFTER FALLING OFF A BOAT AT FULL SPEED…..Come on…..sing it with me….. “And another one gone……and another one gone…..another one bites the dust!”……this guy is the ninth Russian businessman to die by suicide…. “OR”…..in mysterious circumstances since January…..and is among the six deaths…..affiliated with the country’s energy sector….dude just fell off his boat…..right!
NOSTRADAMUS PREDICTED KING CHARLES WILL ABDICATE AND PRINCE HARRY WILL REPLACE HIM…..Cool with me…..he’s the only one I like anyway.
OCKTOBERFEST IS BACK…..Yes it is…..and I’m sure everyone living in Munich, Germany…..is not happy…. “OCKT – COVID – FEST” 2022 is back…..it’s been two years since the last one…..and just to make all the visitors happy…..they’ve extended the opening hours…..which means…..it’ll open this weekend on the 17th of September….at 12 noon….that’s when the Mayor opens the first keg of beer…..and run until the 3rd of October….which is German Unity Day…..a holiday…..and that’ll give everyone one more extra day to get shit-faced….now if you’re going you have to remember….many hotels and restaurants are short of staff…..and if you’re flying in…..good luck with having your luggage arrive when you do…..and lucky you…..there’s a brand new tent opening this year…..the Bräurosl tent will be much taller than the others……and will be able to seat a total of……8,250 people….inside and out…..you could fit a pond jumping airliner in it……yep, that’s a lot of COVID…..anyway,…..and let’s get to the prices…..the first time I went to the O-fest…..a liter of beer cost 4.00 DM…..now one Maß bier will cost you anywhere between €12.60 and €13.80….that’s an average of 15.77 per cent more than 2019…..and we have no idea how much a…..halbes Hähnchen, eine Brezel oder Haxe will cost and……the waiters and waitresses are not going to be amused…..because that price hike will cut into people tipping them…..so go on and have fun people…..tents open at 9 am and close at 11:30 pm…..that’s a lot of beer food…..and puke…..but fear not…..if your world is spinning from too much beer…..just go outside behind the tent……and pass out on the grassy hill with the rest of the drunks…..and when you feel better…..stagger on back in…..and continue to get your drunk on again…..PROST!
A TEACHER ASKED HER 10-YEAR-OLDS THIS QUESTION……
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
PAUL: Werewolves
NINA: Sharks
DYLAN: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death
CATHERINE: Dylan