I WOULD BE….a morning person…..if mornings started at noon

I HOPE….that one day you will have the experience….of doing something you do not understand….for someone you love

INSTEAD…..of more debates….let’s have a 90 minute lie detector test…..with mild electrical charges administered for lying

MY TWO REACTIONS WHEN GOING OUTSIDE:

Ew….the sun……Ew…..the people

KAMALA HARRIS….released 20 years of tax returns……Tim Walz…..has released 15 years of tax returns….J.D. Vance and Donald Trump….haven’t released any

ANYONE…..want to build a pirate ship and assemble a crew with 25-50 people…..and just sail around the world…..visiting places that haven’t been seen for centuries….while we sing pirate shanties?

IF IT CAN BE SOLVED….there’s no need to worry….and if it can’t be solved….worry is of no use

DON’T TALK TO ME….when I first wake up…..let me get my attitude together first

LET’S RAISE…..children who can name plants and animals….not celebrities and brands

TOOK THE KIDS…..to the zoo last week…..I’m going back this week….to see how they settled in

IF YOU SEE ME….stop and stare at the sky….let me….I got some people up there….who left before I could make them proud

DON’T ASK ME….how I survived….ask me what “SONG” I played on repeat….when I thought my whole world was falling apart

I DON’T CARE….what anyone says….you can sense a jealous spirit…..negative energy….and a miserable person

MY ROOMBA….just beat me to a Cheeto…..that I dropped on the floor…..this is how the war against machines begins

LET’S ALL….take a moment to be thankful…..that I can’t turn people into frogs

IF IT WASN’T….for my personality disorder…..lack of morals….promiscuity….alcohol problem and criminal record….I’d be a pretty good catch

I DON’T WANNA…..hear about “lazy immigrants”…..from a race of people…..who enslaved a whole other race of people….to do all the work they didn’t want to do

DUE TO THE RISING COST….of ammunition….I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot….I thank you for your patience…..and understanding in these hard times

THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT….on trick or treating….you can knock on my door….with a martini and a smoldering Pall Mall in your hands…..and I’m gonna give you a Snickers bar

AND IN THE END…….I believe that we don’t need to do anything to be loved…..we spend our lives trying to seem prettier, smarter……but I realized two things……those who love us see us with their hearts and attribute qualities to us beyond those we really have……and those who don’t want to love us will never be satisfied with all our efforts……yes, I really believe that it is important to leave our imperfections alone…..they are precious to understand those who see us with the heart…….Frida Kahlo

AND MY FAVORITE……

DO NOT STAND…..at my grave and weep….I am not there….I do not sleep…..I am the thousand winds that blow…..I am the diamond’s gilt on snow…..I am the sunlight on ripened grain…..I am the gentle autumn’s rain…..when you awaken in the morning’s hush…..I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight….I am the soft stars that shine at night….do not stand at my grave and cry…..I am not there…..I did not die…..