…..Because I’m only 57?
SHOULD PORN RAISE THE MINIMUN AGE TO 21?…..As if that’s gonna stop a horny 15 year old with a computer.
WHY DO KETTLES WHISTLE?…..Because they don’t know how to hum?…..I don’t know.
MAN ARRANGES TO MEET ONLINE FRIEND AT HOTEL, ITS HIS SON’S WIFE…..I bet that didn’t go too well.
MAN DRINKS HIS OWN URINE-SAYS IT HELPED HIM REACH AGE 91…..I don’t know about you….but I think I’m gonna stick to beer and see what happens.
FIVE THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT MONDAY…..I can tell you one…..I hate them!
O.J. SIMPSON STABS EX-LOVER KRIS JENNER IN THE BACK…..Not literally but he’s pissed because Kris said she believes he killed both of them….me personally…..I don’t think he did it…..”BECAUSE”….Mark was a big dude and he would’ve gotten in a few punches if it was one on one..…and she would’ve at least screamed…”BUT”….O.J. could’ve hired some people to do it…..anyway…..he said he has some dirt on her when they were screwing around…..and Robert Kardashian was his best friend…..dog…..anyway….and he said Khloe´ is his kid and he has proof…..Robert always thought Khloe´ wasn’t his kid…. he wants to help Bruce in his $175 million divorce battle…..and all this info is coming from a guy doing a 33 year stint in prison.
OUR FEAR OF AL-QAEDA HURTS US MORE THAN AL-QAEDA….Like George Orwell said….if you install fear….the people will believe the Gov. will protect you….you should read or re-read 1984….the man knew something then….which is happening now….or at least buy the soundtrack to the film because Annie Lennox’s voice is so wonderful on it.
FREE SNOWDEN….Nah….he blew it….it’s caviar, vodka and borsch for him.
BRITNEY SPEARS MUSIC USED TO SCARE SOMALI PIRATES….The way she sings…..her music could scare the entire African continent.
THE 25 SPOOKIEST PLACES AROUND THE WORLD…..And New Jersey is not one of them…..but, New Orleans, Venice, Italy, Chicago, Salem, Mass., London, Orlando, Florida, Paris, France, Las Vegas (?), Tokyo, Edinburgh, Scotland, NYC, Australia, Rome, Italy, Cartago, Costa Rica, Savannah, Barbados, San Francisco, Rajasthan, India, Dublin, Ireland, South Africa, Prague, Czech Republic, Sao Paulo, Brazil, Buenos Aires, Singapore and Mexico are.
MISTRESS SAYS SHE MOVED IN DAYS AFTER WIFE DIED….Just couldn’t wait could ya?
I AM A DISPOSABLE ACADEMIC….You sound like a diaper.
14 POUND UTAH BABY MAY BE AMERICA’S BIGGEST FOR 2013….Good Lord…..is the mother ok?
WHAT HAND SIGNALS SHOULD I AVOID WHEN TRAVELING ABROAD….Using the middle finger is not a good idea.
WHY DO WE SCREAM?….Probably because we’re pissed off.
RUSSIA COLLECTS DNA SAMPLES OF MUSLIM WOMEN….Whoa…..because of the recent suicide attacks……they want to make sure the Olympics are safe.
COUPLE LIVE IN CEMETERY, LIKES HAVING LOW-MAINTENANCE NEIGHBORS….I bet they’re happy they don’t have to bang on the ceiling and tell them to turn the music down.
AND SINCE HALLOWEEN WAS YESTERDAY:
“HERE’S JOHNNY!”-THE SHINING SCENE IS SCARIEST IN MOVIE HISTORY CLAIMS STUDY….I watched that during breakfast yesterday…..What?….that movie would be nothing without Jack….one of the few actors who can say so much without saying anything….as for scariest….Nah!
11 SCARIEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME…..And only three of them are worth watching…..but here’s my 11…..The Haunting – not the re-make one…..The Changeling – the wheelchair is worth it….Psycho – classic….Chucky – another reason why I hate puppets and dolls….Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte – Bette at her best….Saw – they will make you cover your eyes….Hellraiser – Pinhead is my man….I Saw The Devil – that is one pissed off husband…..Hostel – made me re-think about visiting Bratislava….I Spit On Your Grave….She gave those guys everything thing they deserved…..Audition….Tee, tee, tee, tee, tee…tee, tee, tee, tee, tee!